WALKING IN MY SHOES

41. Lost

"Why'd you throw it back?" she asks confused.

"Because we weren't gonna eat it and I find it rather cruel to Just let it die " I say shrugging.

"Didn't you want to take a picture for memories though?" Ryan asks putting his presence where it's unwanted by me.

"It's not a big deal " I say to the both of them shrugging carelessly. Though the truth is that I don't like how similar this is to the time I spent with my dad as a little kid at the dam, 'so be it that the one of the best memories I remember having with him became one of the saddest because I felt betrayed.'

"Come on everyone, I think we should be heading back now it's getting late" the instructor says making me sigh in relief that this is all over with.

•••

"Hey let's go sit around the fire, it's fucking cold in here " Lexi says pulling my arm towards the direction where everyone is seated surrounding a campfire. by now it was already night time and everyone has set up a fire for warmth to sit around and chat. I wasn't really feeling it but I went along anyway knowing I'll look suspicious if I decline since I have an act to uphold.

"Why don't we play never have I ever?" someone suggests roasting a marshmallow.

"Yeah right without alcohol, are we going to get drunk sipping burnt marshmallows?" Max asks sarcastically making my lip tug up into a small smile making my down mood slightly better.

"Well I guess that's a no" the person mutters shoving the marshmallow in their mouth.

"we're running out of fire wood " the instructor Ashley says examining the fine.

"Oh great does this mean we can go back to that sad excuse you call a bed now" I ask just wanting to be alone right now usually when I have flashbacks I tend to be in a sour mood because I remember how sad I once was and willow in self pity and remains of anger.

"Why don't you and a gentleman go fetch some more" she asks, my question falling upon deaf ears. ' sure and shove it right up your ass, does it look like I'm in the mood to fucking look for more wood?'.

"I can go with you" Ryan says in what I think is an attempt to be sweet but I see him for the fox he is.
'Maybe I'll shove it up his ass instead'

"That's wonderful-" Ash says but I interrupt her.

"I'm okay I can go alone" I say coming to terms with the fact that if I have to go alone atleast I'll get some time to clear my mind and pull myself together whereas if I go with this fool I'll never get a slice of silence.

"Actually Zack why don't you go...be a gentleman stepbrother" Raymond says smirking at Lyn probably thinking it would piss her off to have to go look for wood.

"uh okay, yeah sure" she says standing up and walking towards me looking slightly nervous.

we stroll through the forest away from the were everyone else ,in search for more fire wood.

I quietly pick up any pieces of wood I find and Lyn follows suite.

"Don't move" Lyn says slowly, I look at her confused but obey and stand still, that's when I feel something crawling on me.

"oh shit there's something on me!" I say panicked but try to remain calm despite my mind telling me to fucking run or something.

Lyn picks up a stick and hits the thing off me hitting me in the process making me hiss in pain.

"Sorry" she mumbles apologetically.

"Yeah sure, you probably wanted to do that for a long time now, you just finally got the opportunity to hit me" I say half joking making her laugh.