That Way

42. Im Sorry.

It's been 5 days since I woke up and lost Jackson. Jack still hasn't woken up, I've spent every night at the hospital with him, I think they're letting me stay because we lost our baby and he's the only person I want right now.

"Miss Lewis? The doctor says making me look up at him and force a smile. "Everything okay?" I ask making him sigh and pull a chair closer to the bed. "Your sons ashes are ready, would you like somebody to take them home or would you like them here?" He asks making me sigh. "In here please." I say making him nod. "I'll bring them in." He nods as he stands up.

"Jack, please don't make me do this bit alone." I whisper as I hide my face in his chest. "Ivy?" Julie asks as she comes into the room. "Hey." I smile as I try to climb off the bed, she instantly helps me down making me smile. "How are you?" She asks making me sigh. "My stomach hurts, every time I move I feel it pulling." I say making her nod.

"I had to have Katie by c-section, I know how you're feeling." She says making me me smile and nod. "They um, they're bringing Jacksons ashes up now." I say making her smile sadly. "Do you still want me to make them into keep sakes?" She asks making me nod. "Please." I say quietly as I try to hold the tears back, making her pull me into her arms.

"Ivy?" I hear jack croak out, we both turn and run to his side. "Hey baby." I whisper as I hold his face. "You're okay, you're both okay." He says making me hold my breath and rest my forehead against his. "We're okay." I nod as I kiss his head. "Jack, your awake." Dr Brown says before handing the box to the nurse who takes it out of the room.

"I'm awake doc, and I didn't miss the birth of my son." He smiles as he reaches for my stomach, only for his face to drop ad he feels the bump is gone. "Where is he?" He asks as he looks right into my tearful eyes making his fill up too. "They gave me a c-section, he was already gone." I say making him cover his mouth as the tears fall down his cheeks silently. "You also sustained severe injuries, Jack. You completely shattered your right knee and broke your tibia and fibula, you lost a lot of blood which caused you to be in a coma for the last five days." The doctor says making Jack hold my face.

"You've been here for five days on your own?" He asks making me smile sadly. "I was with you." I say making him shake his head and pull me into his arms where I finally let it all out as he does the same making everyone leave us alone.

"I didn't know what to call him, they needed a name. So I chose your name." I say making him smile sadly. "Jackson." He says making me nod as I bite my lip. "Would you like me to being him in?" The doctor asks making me force a smile and nod as I climb into bed with Jack. "I'll leave you two to it." Julie smiles as she kisses both of our heads then leaves.

We sit in silence just holding each other until the doctor knocks the door. "Your mother said she had plans for the ashes, again, I'm very sorry about your loss." He smiles sadly as he passes me the urn.

"What was his full name?" Jack asks making me sigh. "Jackson King Payne." I say making him smile and kiss my cheek. "It's perfect." He says making me nod and grab my phone. "Hazel and mum got som pictures." I say as I pull them up.

We swip through them all for probably an hour just going back and forth about how perfect he is, or was, I don't know what I'm supposed to say yet. "Have you told anyone?" He asks making me shake my head. "I told our friends, well I told Kacie and told her to tell them, so her and Harvey did. Everyone's been here to see you." I say making him frown.

"Not you?" He asks making me shrug. "I don't want to see a anyone. Maggie came up and I told her to just go home." I say making him pull closer. "Well, I won't be doing much of anything for the next few months. Maybe we should just lock ourselves in the house and ignore everyone." He says making me chuckle and close my eyes.

"Yeah." I force a smile before finally falling asleep.