When the dead roam - (Daryl Dixon)

Chapter 86 - Open your eyes!

Louise wasn't sure how long she had been sat on the floor. She hadn't even noticed them move Shaun's dead body from in front of her or return the pool table back to its rightful home. Every muscle in her body refused to work. The only sound she registered was her heartbeat echoing in her ears. She knew she was crying - she hadn't stopped - but she also knew she wasn't alone. Someone was sitting next to her, barking orders at Alexandria's people whilst holding her with one arm. Their hand rubbed her bicep, attempting to comfort her slightly as well as giving her room to move away if she desired...but she didn't.

The Sheriff knew what it was like to loose family, so he didn't push her to get up. He let her wallow; allowed her the time to process the events in her head thoroughly before even considering the possibility of moving the women.

"Eric, take Aaron to the infirmary, Rosita, help Michonne clean this up please" Rick directed pointing at his people. "Lou? Lou, look at me". She didn't move. "Louise?"

Even after multiple attempts, she still couldn't drag her eyes away from the blood and mangled flesh on the floor. Not even as Rosita crouched in front of her and began tidying the street.

"Rick?" Aaron said, just before Eric began to help him walk away. He glanced towards his friend, sighing heavily and feeling completely useless as she sobbed. "Please, look-"

"I know" he replied softly, knowing full well what Aaron was going to ask. If anyone could get through to her, it was going to be himself. "C'mon, Lou, you can't stay here"

Though his intentions were good, Louise couldn't take the kindness in his voice away from the words; the words she had said to her brother just a few weeks ago. A breath caught in her throat and for the first time, she closed her eyes tightly and shook her head. Her heart was racing. "I can't-"

"Yes, you can" he moved to his feet, still keeping one arm around her and hoisted her up. He nodded towards Carl - who still stood on the porch holding his sister - and gave him a few seconds to open the door before he carried her up the steps. The young boy put his sister on the carpet, grabbed a blanket from the armchair and draped it over Louise's frame as Rick sat her down on the couch. "You're okay"

"It's over" she said bluntly, her voice waving and her eyes locked on the window. "We've already lost"

Rick shook his head. "We lost one battle. We're wining this war, together"

She looked up at him. "We lost the second his name was first mentioned. When Daryl and Abraham took out the group on the road. Before we even attacked that outpost - we lost the very first day, Rick"

"No we didn't"

"Open your eyes!" She said, laughing at his blatant blindness to her current situation. "Look at how many people we've lost! Glenn, Abraham, Denise, Olivia, Spencer, Shaun - too many people! I sent my brother away to protect us and I got him killed anyway!"

"And we can stop it now. You wanted to fight, you were ready to leave, Lou!"

"Yeah, yeah I was" she nodded her head and wiped her tears. "But everything I had is gone now. Everything I was fighting for...is gone. We're never getting our people back"

She pushed the blanket off of herself and got to her feet, attempting to storm out of the house but being stopped by Rick's hand on her wrist. Louise looked down at the contact and then back up at him, not even having to force herself to remain defeated - she already was. As far as she was concerned, nothing he could say would make her change her mind.

"What about Daryl?" He asked calmly, searching her eyes for any form of hope but coming up empty handed.

Louise sighed and moved her hand from his grasp. "He's gone. We need to stop pretending that he's not"

With his eyes wide, he watched her leave his house and walk down the empty street. He didn't know where she was going but he knew the outcome wouldn't be pleasant.

"Dad?"

Rick looked towards his son, tearing his eyes away from the window. "Yeah?"

"She'll be okay, right?"

"I don't know"

Carl took a deep breath and shook his head. "It's my fault. I told Negan about Shaun, if I hadn't-"

"He would've killed him anyway, the second he found out he was her brother, he would've shot him on the spot. You couldn't have stopped that" he said, patting his son on the shoulder and picking up his little girl from the carpet, kissing her softly on the head. "But I have a plan"

Nobody was home when she arrived. Aaron was presumably still in the infirmary and Eric was undoubtedly at his side, holding his hand as someone stitched up his deep wounds. Louise didn't bother with dinner, she didn't even get herself a stiff drink from the kitchen cabinet; instead, she made a b-line for her bedroom and sat down on the old mattress.

Daryl's clothes still lay on her bedroom floor, smelling partially like him and somewhat like the dirt from their last scavenge - though she couldn't even remember when that was. The sad, emotional part of her wanted to pick it up and hold it as she cried but the sensible side told her no, it would only bring pain.

So she huffed at herself and lay back on her messy sheets, keeping her mind full and her heart heavy whilst knowing full well, Rick wouldn't let her dwell much longer. For most people, having time alone at times like this would help but for Louise, it seemed to make it worse. She barely spent thirty minutes lying down before she grumbled at herself, grabbed the best weapon she could find and stormed out of the gates. She needed and outlet - some way to release what she was feeling instead of sitting around and crying. And she was determined to find it.

- - -

The group sat scattered around the small living room, waiting patiently for Maggie for to return. She had been called away thirty minutes ago in a panic, following one of Hill Tops residents to the front gates and disappearing from site; ultimately leaving Jesus and Daryl to sit in a semi-awkward 'thank-you-for-rescuing-me' silence. Though Daryl had thanked him multiple times and Jesus had protested equally, the two still couldn't string a full conversation together.

Jesus had taken his usual stance beside the fireplace, resting an arm on the top and steadying himself against the frame - though nobody could understand how he found that comfortable. Daryl sat on the chair opposite, nursing a glass of water and waiting for the inevitable bad news that would follow the second Maggie returned. The hunter cleared his throat and brought the glass to his lips as the door behind them opened.

Maggie Rhee stood in the doorway. Her brown locks hung freely around her pale face and the fresh, clean clothes she wore hid her growing baby bump successfully but she wielded no weapon.

"I just got word from Alexandria" she sighed, shutting the door behind her and making her towards the couch before resting on the arm. "Negan killed Olivia, Spencer and Shaun - Rick and the others are on the way here"

"Wait, Lou's Shaun?" Jesus asked, moving away from the fireplace as she nodded. "I thought he left"

Daryl's eyes widened and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Is she alrigh'?"

"I don't know. Probably not" she said. "But we need to get ready"