Missing

Chapter 31

"Emily." Richelle says when she finally calms down enough to talk. Her eyes are red. Redder than before. Her face is still wet and her hair looks as if she just came out of the ocean. She looks at me with her wide eyes then drops her gaze to the cold tile we're sitting on.

"Yes." I pry when she doesn't say anything.

"I'm..."

"Yes?" I want her to start talking.

"I'm sorry."

I look into her eyes, puzzled.

"Why?" I ask.

"I can't-" Her voice becomes too soft for me to hear the end of her sentence.

Richelle scoots away from me stands up and paces up and down. I scramble to stand up and stop her.

"Emily, stop." She removes my hands that I've gentily placed on her shoulders.

"What?" I stutter. Her eyes are filled with sorrow and regret.

"You should go." Richelle's eyes drop to the ground again.

"Okay-" My voice cuts short then I turn around to leave.

Richelle follows behind and stalks up the stairs that are placed right by the entrance of her house. I wait till she is completely gone, then I open the front door and leave.

What just happened? I thought Richelle was okay. I guess she's not.

My car is sitting exactly where I parked it. I'm going to have to drive home in utter silence again. No one in my passenger seat talking my ear off about shoes after a shopping trip. No one to get mad at me for asking her too much about how her alegebra test went. No one to yell at me to turn up the radio when her favourite song comes on. No Riley. I miss her. I want her back.

I unlock my car then get in. My hand automatically starts the car and as a reflex, my foot presses down on the gas pedal. Just like always, when I don't know what to do, I drive.

Why doesn't Richelle want me? How can I prove Amanda is the murderer? When do I wake up from this dream?

My mind is flooding in questions. Questions with no good answers.

I watch the road unconsciously while I drive. There's a red light. There's a stop sign. There's a car crash with mutiple ambulance and police officers. Nothing phases me anymore. It's all just a blur. Before I even know where I'm going, I feel my foot hit the brakes and my hand reach out to pull out my keys. I'm here.

I end up on the cliff. The same cliff Eldon took me to. Eldon's cliff. He said this place makes him feel less crazy; maybe it'll do the same to me.

I walk out of my car, not bothering to take my coat or bag or keys. Not bothering who may be following me. Not bothering who will push me down the drop when I least expect it.

My feet instinctively take me to the edge of the cliff. Then I feel myself fall; no, sit. Then everything is black; my eyes are closed. I feel the cold air forming around me. There is no wind but the rustling in the trees make me think otherwise. I feel my pants getting stuck on the rough edges of the rock and the cold hard ground is harsh on my butt. I can't care less about my hands being all muddy and covered with frostbite afterwards. I don't care that my hair has twigs caught in it. I won't care if I just die, here and now.

I think about what Eldon told me that night. 'What made you go crazy?' I asked him. 'Death' he answered. Death is the cause of Richelle's pain and insanity too.
Then I think back to the very first conversation we've ever had. I think about every word he's ever spoken to me. I think about every word I've said to him. He says he's insane, but why he is my sanity? Then I feel something around my waist Something warm and gentil. I know in an instant it's Eldon.