That's How We Met ('tis the damn season) [Merder]

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In the morning, Meredith woke up early, once again tightly wrapped in Derek's embrace. She smiled at the feeling. In the past few days, he had become her safety net. He made everything better. She was enjoying the feeling of his body wrapped around hers when the flashbacks of last night started flooding back into her mind. She remembered watching Mr. Dunn die. She still couldn't figure out what made her go there. She knew he wouldn't understand. She thought that would be when he'd call quits on her, but surprisingly to her, he stayed. He did more than that. He calmed her down and took care of her, brought her home, and held her through the night, never missing even a little whimper of her without telling her it was okay. He made her believe that everything was gonna be ok. She couldn't help but feel herself fall in love with him even more. She still feared it, but definitely not as much as before. "Let's go home" that's what he told her last night. Only if he knew that he was her home. In an incredibly short time, he managed to make her fall in love with not just him, but also herself. She could feel herself start really appreciating herself as a person, even though she still had a long road ahead of her to actually get to the point where she could love herself truly for who she was, but the feeling of being so loved and appreciated made it much easier for her.

"You awake?" Derek whispered, gently kissing her forehead as if he was scared to wake her.
"Yeah" her voice was raspy from the crying.
"I'll get you some water" he offered and tried to get up, but she wouldn't let him.
"Don't go. Just hold me for a while, please." She murmured.
"Okay." He kissed her forehead again, reassuring her that he wasn't going anywhere. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine." Meredith said as usual.
"Amelia already warned me about the whole I'm fine thing. How are you, really?" He asked again.
"I'm okay, really. I'm just a little sad. I'll be okay. You holding me helps." She said, kissing his cheek. "Thank you for taking care of me." She leaned in and kissed him lightly, pressing her forehead to his.
"Thank you for letting me." He said sweetly. "I really think we should talk, though." He added.

"I agree. Actually, I was looking for you before I went to prison. You were in surgery and I watched you from the gallery for a little bit.
"You did?"
"Yeah. Anyways, I was looking for you because I wanted to apologize for being so reckless with you. I didn't even realize how hard it could've been treating a killer after what happened to your father. I'm really sorry. I should've been more considerate of your feelings." She said softly, regretting her unthoughtfulness.
"It's okay, Mer. I'm fine." He said and regretted it immediately. "I meant okay, I'm okay." They both chuckled. "I really am okay, Mer, holding you makes it better for me too." He added, pecking her lips.
"I'm glad" he murmured as he buried her face in his neck, softly nuzzling it. "Amelia said there's a new year's party tonight? Apparently, everyone's allowed to bring dates. Are you going?" She asked, intrigued that he still hadn't told her.
"I don't know. I probably should. Will you come with me if I go? I wanted to ask you earlier but you had a cold and I wasn't planning on going if you couldn't come with me." He said sincerely.
"I'll come with you if you want me to." She smiled, admiring the fact that he was putting her first.
"I do. I really do." He kissed her temple. "Mer?"

"Yeah?"
"What is this?"
"What do you mean?" She asked, not understanding what was he talking about.
"What are we? Is this going anywhere?" He could feel her tense up as he asked these questions. "Don't freak out, okay? I just wanna know if this is headed somewhere."

"I... I don't know Derek." She answered honestly. "I'm leaving soon, how can this be headed somewhere?" She said, shattering both their hearts. "But on the other hand, I want it to. I want us to be more than this." She was astonished by her own bravery. She was never the one to trust someone enough to talk to them about her feelings so openly, but he made her feel that however she felt was okay.
"I do too, Mer. I know we met a few days ago, but I just... I don't want to imagine my life without you. And knowing this is gonna end soon... It's killing me."
"I know. Me too." She said, her eyes filling with water. She hid her face in his neck, not wanting to show him any more tears. He was slowly rubbing her back, trying to make her sadness go away. "What do we do?" She asked.
"I don't know" he admitted. Silence took over. He didn't know what to do. Neither of them did. "Stay here." He said, breaking the silence. He felt her tense in his arms. "I know it sounds crazy, but stay."

Meredith didn't know what to say. There was nothing she wanted more than being with him and making their relationship work, but she couldn't stay. There was no way she could just abandon her life in Seattle. It was the place where she found her family, her friends, and stability. It was her home. She couldn't leave, not even for him.

"I can't." She whispered, hoping he wouldn't hear. Breaking his heart was the last thing she wanted. "I can't" she repeated, making it more real.
"I know, I just had to ask," he said, kissing her temple.
"I hate this."
"Me too."

They laid in bed, wrapped up in each other's embrace for a while. Neither of them wanted to move, neither of them wanted to say anything. They both knew this was all they got. A few more days with each other, till she'd have to leave and they'd probably never see each other again. Maybe next time she'd visit with Amelia, or some medical conference, but that would be it.

"Not now" Derek groaned as his pager went off. "It's 911, I have to go. I'm sorry." He said rolling off the bed, starting to get dressed.
"It's okay." She said, getting up. "Wait" she stopped him before he left as he was headed to the door. She grabbed his face and kissed him, putting all her love and pain in the kiss.

"No matter what happens, I don't regret this. I don't regret us. I know this is not gonna last, but I'm glad it happened. I'm glad I found you." She said as she looked deep into his eyes.
"Me too. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me." He told her as he took her head in his hands, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, he wanted her to know how deeply he felt for her, but he knew it'd only make the situation worse. "We knew this was going to end from the start. We still have a few more days. We're gonna be okay." He said, kissing her forehead.
"Yeah. We gotta make the most of it." She smiled at him.

"You know what? Let's not go to the party today. We have a cabin in the woods. It's just a few hours ride. Let's go there. I'll take a few days off. What do you think?" He suggested.
"I'd love it."
"Alright, I really have to go now. I'll be back in a few hours." He said, planting a quick kiss on her lips.

"Drive safely." She told him before he rushed out of the door. Her eyes were glued to the door for a few minutes after he left. She knew she'd have to do that too. Leave. She couldn't believe she was a fool enough to let herself fall for him so hard when she knew there was no future. It was too late now to change anything. She'd have to accept everything as it was. She had only a few more days till she had to go back to Seattle, her home. She wanted to spend every minute of it with him, and it still wouldn't be enough. But that was all she had. A few more days with the man she was in love with, the only person that made her feel like love was real. She had no choice, she'd have to suck it up. She decided she wouldn't let her feelings ruin the time she had left with him.

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it!❤️

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