That's How We Met ('tis the damn season) [Merder]

Better Off This Way

She called a cab the moment she walked out of the bar. She couldn't stand the idea of leaving him behind, but she didn't have a choice. They were only going to hurt each other more to the point where they couldn't stand each other. She loved him too much to let it go that far. It was better off this way.

She jumped in the cab as soon as it pulled up and told the driver her hotel's address. Tears were streaming down her face as she reminisced of their moments together: The day they met, the way she was immediately drawn by his dark curls and ocean blue eyes. Their first time. Their meeting at Carolyn's house and the awkwardness of it. The Christmas at Shepherd's and their talk on the balcony. His famous "it's a beautiful day to save lives". His brilliance at work and his way of caring for patients caught her off guard. The morning after when he asked her out on a date. Their date, opening up to each other, their first time as Meredith and Derek, not just some strangers in the bar... And every time after that. Every moment of him taking care of her, loving her, and making her feel safe. Waking up in each other's arms. Him taking care of her when she was sick. The cabin. Their first I love you. Them telling each other they loved each other too much to let the other one go, promising to fight for their love. What happened to that anyway?  The skating. Him telling her she was part of his family now. Every kiss, touch and caress. Every bit of their love, up until she decided to end it all. But she didn't have a choice. There was no way they could make a relationship work from the different ends of the country. She dried her eyes with a napkin the cab driver handed her. She thanked him as she got out, walking up to the hotel.

She didn't remember how she made it up to the third floor, everything was a blur. She knocked on the door. She had to wait a moment till Amelia opened it, her smile disappearing after seeing Meredith's ruined face. She opened her arms as Meredith fell into her embrace. She put her arms around her shoulders as she cried her heart out.

"Mer, you need to calm down. You're gonna dehydrate." Amelia told her after a few minutes of crying. "What happened?"

Meredith didn't answer. She cried till she couldn't cry anymore. Walking her to the bed, Amelia helped her lay down and layed next to her. She gave her a few minutes to calm down and wrap her mind around everything.

"What happened, Mer?" She softly asked a while after.

"It's over Amy. I broke up with him. It's over." She whispered, her voice tired and raspy from crying.

Amelia didn't ask questions. She knew her best friend better than that. She knew she did what she did for a reason. There was no changing her mind. Not now, anyway. She put a comforting hand on her shoulder, slowly caressing it as they both fell asleep.

The alarm went off at eight o'clock in the morning. Their flight was leaving in an hour and a half, so they had some time to get ready.

"Mer, wake up." Amelia tried to shake her.

Meredith slowly opened her eyes. They were red from crying.

"Mer, you look like hell. Maybe we should postpone the flight so you can get some rest."

"No, we should go. I don't wanna stay here any longer than I have to.

"Okay." She gave in. There was no way she was gonna win against Meredith Grey and her stubbornness.

They got up, both taking showers in their respective rooms. Amelia's shower didn't take long. She made sure they had everything they needed while she waited for Meredith. Meredith stayed in the shower for longer than usual. She needed to clear her head. Nothing helped, but it was much better than dumping her emotions on Amelia. She needed to be alone for a while, so she took a minute or two before she finally got out of the shower.

They quickly ate breakfast and left for the airport. Their plane took off soon. Their seats were next to the window. Meredith looked outside, watching the clouds. They were so soft that she could get lost in them. She believed they'd feel warm and safe, just like his arms tightly wrapped around her. No, she couldn't think about him. She couldn't torture herself. She promised herself not to.

"Mer" Amy whispered in her ear. "You're gonna be alright. You're Meredith Grey. You'll be okay." She told her, but she wasn't sure herself if she would. She was worried about her. She didn't look like herself. She had never seen her this destroyed, and she's seen her go through a lot, a lot more than any other human being would be able to endure. She wasn't the only one she was worried about, though. She knew Derek would be in no better shape. She watched them fall in love and fall apart. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. They were meant to be forever. The universe was playing games. She had to believe there was no way they just ended things forever. They had to find a way to work it out. They were Meredith and Derek, the only reason she believed in love. They'd have to figure it out, if not for their sake, then for hers. "What happened at the hospital?" She finally asked. She didn't want to ask before, giving Meredith some time and space, but now she didn't just want answers, she needed them.

"Nothing," Meredith answered without turning her head, still looking out of the window.

"Mer?"

"Nothing happened at the hospital. I watched him do the surgery and met him at the nurse's station about an hour later, maybe two."

"What happened then?" Amelia asked with curiosity in her eyes.

"We picked up dinner and went to his place to eat. I was washing dishes and he said we should talk. I told him I didn't wanna lose him and he said he didn't either." Meredith slowly explained.

"How did you two manage to break up if you don't want to lose each other? I'll never understand you fools." Meredith just rolled her eyes at her comment. "Okay, what happened then?"

"He said we'd make long-distance relationship worm but I wasn't so sure of it. I still am not. Amy, there's no way. For a while? Maybe. But in long term, we're just gonna end up hurting each other more. You know it and I know it. He has to know it too. I love him enough to walk away now. I'm doing the right thing. I don't want to, but I have to." She told her, finally turning her head from the window and looking at her, searching for a look of approval in her eyes. Amelia just nodded, knowing that she was right. She still thought it was cruel, but it wasn't her decision after all.

The rest of their flight was silent. They called Alex to pick them up and take them home as soon as they landed in Seattle. Lexie came with him to greet them. Meredith tried to hide it, but both Lexie and Alex noticed that something was off. They didn't say anything not to upset her. About half an hour later Amelia and Meredith were laying in their respective beds. One was sleeping, the other was not.

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it! ❤️

Don't worry, I'm not that cruel guys. We'll hear from Derek again, I don't know if you'll be happy about it or not, though 🤭

i love that you all hate me now lmao 💗

btw I'm reading comments and y'all can calm down I'm not that cruel. Or am I? Sorry, I can't help it. It's sm fun messing eith your heads 😂