Open Case File [COMPLETED]

First Day Back (Part 6)

She sat, hating how she could easily picture him watching her slowly lose weight and not being able to do enough to fix it. All she could remember were vague moments of him urging her to eat. Meals that she drank.

The thought of it, of that void, made her nauseous and she didn't want to eat anything. But she saw Donovan watching her and knew she couldn't refuse. Slowly, she ate but the knot in her stomach made it hard to eat very much. Donovan encouraged her to try and eat more as he went to get ready.

She tried but failed.

Still, Donovan didn't say anything about it when he returned and calculated that the amount of food hadn't changed.

"Do you need me to do your hair?" he asked.

"No. I can do it."

She could do this. She could be the person she had been.

She needed to be that person again.

Ready for the day, they left the apartment and drove away. Carter sat staring out the window, fingers knotted on her lap.

Halfway to work, Donovan reached out, untangling her fingers and sliding his in between hers. She gripped his hand without looking at him.

At the front desk, the security man on duty nodded and smiled at Carter.

"Welcome back, Agent Owens," he said.

Carter nodded, words unable to make it past the tightness in her throat. The elevator rose and Carter stared at the climbing numbers.

"No one is going to be waiting, are they?" Carter asked.

"No. I didn't let anyone know we were coming back today," Donovan said.

Carter let out a relieved breath. The doors parted and they stepped out, surrounded by the hum of voices, footsteps, and typing.

It all felt the same, but not at all.

A few people glanced up as the pair passed by and called out greetings. Donovan took the initiative and waved back to everyone. Carter did all that she could and at that moment it was putting one foot in front of the other.

By the time they reached Direct Townsend's office, it seemed the news of their return had already reached him. He stood in the opening to his office and smiled, a rare display for him.

"Come inside," he said. "It's good to have you back. Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

As she took a seat before his desk, Carter murmured no and Donovan said the same. Townsend settled in behind his desk and leaned forward, clasped hands resting on the desk.

"Agent Owens...Carter, how are you doing?" he asked, his usually stern countenance softened with kindness.

Carter thought about her answer, not wanting to lie to her superior.

"Recovering, sir," she said.

Townsend nodded at this. "I'm happy to hear it. Donovan sent in your latest doctor's report and I'm glad to know that all your wounds are fully healed. Donovan also said you were ready to get back to work."

Carter didn't have an answer to that. She needed to get back to work. But ready? That she didn't know.

"You should know that your return to normal duties will be gradual. Before you can even start working, you will have two weeks of mandatory therapy with our top psychologist."

Though Carter knew this was protocol, she laced her fingers together and gripped them.

"After that, you can either work from home or at a desk on some older cases. You will not have to go back into the field until you feel ready."