Evermore - jaylor story (peace book 2)

the first day

-taylors pov-

"We have a lot to discuss with you two. We have worked on your daughter now and there is a lot to talk about...."

I don't know If anything could have prepared me for this conversation we are about to have. But I don't think any parent throwing into this situation can ever know how they're going to handle it and what's about to happen.

"... first of all, she is alive and that's the most important thing to get across. She was born at 26 weeks which is 14 weeks before her due date. She is classified right at the border between a micro preemie and extreme premature. The cut off is generally said to be at 26 weeks. She is put on a mechanical ventilator because her lungs aren't developed enough to breath on her own" she goes on an explains what a mechanical ventilator is. That it supplies a mixture of oxygen and air which is pumped through a tube into the windpipe and then drawn back out. Basically, it is doing what your lungs are supposed to do on its own.

"She has an arterial line for a continuous blood pressure monitoring. She is also put on a cardiopulmonary monitor, which put simply is the wires that you will see stuck on her, two on each side of the chest and one on the lower abdomen. These wires are used to detect every activity for the heart and transmit it to the monitor where it is recorded and displayed as a waveform on the screen"

I really appreciate that he takes the time to really explain these things to us because it's scary enough without actually knowing what's going on with our baby girl. We ask a couple of questions before we are ready to move on. "Do we know what's going on with her? Like what are her issues?" I ask and wipe away the tears that are falling.

"She has what's called respiratory distress syndrome, RSD, for short. With premature babies they often don't produce what's called surfactant which the body needs to alveoli's in your lungs need to work properly." she goes on to explain how this all works. And that the body needs the surfactant so they can keep the alveoli open so that they can fill easily with air and work efficiently. Aperently this is something babies don't have enough of before closer to term. "We are giving her synthetic doses of surfactant that hopefully will help with this issue in the long run"

She goes on and explain how she has had several bradycardia episodes, but they are watching those closely and she has responded to stimuli to get herself back on track. Aperently it's a fancy word for the slowing of the heart. She stopped breathing once for around 20 seconds which means it was apnea. And she has anemia which they are treating and then jaundice which they are treating with having her under a special light inside of her incubator.

It's a lot of new information at once and it's really overwhelming to hear them naming one thing after the other of things that are wrong with our baby. how are we supposed to remember any of this?

"We do not expect you to understand or remember all this. Its new to you and we know that. We are just legally required to do it and most parents feel better when they are told what's going on. We can take you up to her now" the doctor says and the nurse goes and get a weel chair for me.

"We do also need to say that there has been extra security added to the ward. But the NICU is one of the most secure places in the hospital because its somewhere with restricted access. Only the parents are allowed in, and they need to show identifications beforehand. The doors are locked all the time for safety. And you can visit her whenever you want, but we do ask parents to step outside at shift change or if one of the kids need something mayor done bedside" she explains to us, and joe helps me over into the wheelchair.

It feels so surreal being pushed through the hallway of the labor and delivery floor where I can hear babies crying but knowing my baby is in a plastic box upstairs fighting for her life. It feels cruel that something like this is happening. I know that most parents are probably thinking "why me?" and that's how I feel right now too. Why did this happen to our child? Did I do something wrong?