Deviant

thirty

~Who is him?~

The next day, I had to leave my apartment early in the morning and go to prison. Jungkook was still sleeping so I left him a note on the bed letting him know where I was. I didn't need a freaking out jungkook after waking up suddenly alone in the apartment. And here I was thinking about my bad boy who was still so damn confusing.

I smiled, I couldn't help it. What had happened yesterday was still fresh in my mind. I couldn't forget the way his lips felt on my own, his arms around me. He was sweet. I couldn't describe it otherwise. It wasn't like my crazy Jungkook's kisses. He could also be sweet, but it was something more as well. Something I couldn't find in the other one. And that was lust.

I couldn't understand his kiss. It happened so fast and with no words spoken. I tried so hard to stop thinking about him and just let it be. We didn't speak about what happened. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe he was vulnerable and needed someone close. Maybe that's why he approached me. And I was there not knowing what to do or how to react. I was so scared. I didn't know if I should touch him, but I couldn't push him away either. I couldn't hurt his feelings. And I didn't regret anything. That kiss even now was lingering in my head. It was so different from that forceful kiss in Mingyu's cabinet. And once again I was confused when it was coming to my feelings.

Entering Mingyu's cabinet, I found him already there, sitting on the sofa, waiting for me.
Internally I was shaking. Mingyu wasn't stupid. It will be hard to fool him, I was aware of that. But that didn't mean I couldn't at least try.

As soon as I closed the door behind me, his eyes stopped on me and his next words had frozen me on the spot.
"Jungkook came to you, didn't he? "

Damn it.

"No. Why would he come? " I threw a disappointing smile in his direction wanting to seem hurt after what jungkook had done to me before he escaped.

"Here," Mingyu said as he stood up and placed a very familiar box in my hands.
I was shocked as I was looking at it not understanding a damn thing.

"Jungkook will need those. He will have panic attacks every day. It's normal in his case. Just... If something will go bad, please call me. I will come without any second thought. No one knows where Jungkook may be. You aren't a suspect because he attacked you. But everyone is searching for him, so keep him locked in your apartment where I am sure he is right now." Mingyu bit his lip troubled. He was restless as his eyes were searching my face like he wanted to be sure of something.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked. It was no point in hiding myself or denying the fact that Jungkook was in my apartment. But I could not understand his intentions and why would he do something this big for a prisoner. It had nothing to do with him, right?

"I... Just want to see him safe... Somewhere. Here are people who do not care at all. That's all." Mingyu whispered as he caressed my head gently. "I am so sorry. If you will get caught... "

"I know. I am aware of the consequences. But I will not regret my actions. It's something I wanna do. And here I am talking about me. If I would not try to help him, I will regret it for the rest of my life. I want to see him safe, far away from this environment, and have a chance at a normal life.
But first, you have to enlighten me on some things."

"If it's in my power, sure. Let me hear it."

"Tell me about his parents. Do you know something about them? "

Mingyu's eyes saddened for some reason. He hasn't focused on me anymore as he was somewhere else now.
"His father was a... Pedophile.
It seems. I guess you do know what that means."

"Yes... I know." I whispered out loud twisting my nose in disgust.

"And they weren't his real parents. He was adopted at the age of 4 years old. His real parents left him in an orphanage."

I dropped my gaze to hide my shocked expression and the tears which started to fill up my eyes. Damn it.
Damn it. Damn it.
"Since when his father started to... to..." I swallowed the knot which quickly formed in my throat
"....do those kinds of things to him?"

"Well... Y/N. Jungkook was adopted when he was 4 years old so... We concluded that it happened right after he was brought into that house. "

My gaze was still focused on the floor. I struggled to not cry and somehow managed to fight back tears and keep asking.
"Why is Jungkook like this?
I understand that deep inside him he knows that what his father did was wrong because of the way he pushes people away, scared to give them his trust, but... why does a part of him is the opposite? Actually enjoying having sex with just anyone. Is it because of that man, right? He will become the same? Because Jungkook was abused 10 years in a row, maybe each day."

"Our fathers, whether good or ill, are our earliest and strongest examples.
This makes me think that Jungkook deep inside him maybe knows that what his father did wasn't quite right. But at the same time, it may seem normal to him.
Because his father abused him repeatedly, maybe a part of him has come to think that those kinds of things are normal and everyone is doing it. After all, from what I could tell, Jungkook sees a distraction in sex or a way of losing time. Maybe he can't stay without it either. Gender doesn't matter at all it seems. And I am scared to think that maybe he would do it with children as well."

"Studies indicate that about one-third of people who are abused in childhood will become abusers themselves.
The studies are also disclosing specific factors that help many victims grow into well-adjusted adulthood, and factors that push others towards perpetuating the pattern of violence."

"He has a chance to become normal?" I interrupted Mingyu. I felt how I started to become restless. What if Jungkook will be lost forever in that dark place he is living day by day?

Victims of abuse frequently respond to the trauma by denying that any abuse occurred or by blaming themselves for the abuse, which they often view as justified discipline from adults.
In Jungkook's case, things do not seem very good. Despite that, he killed three people. This makes things worse. He was drugged as well for many years. I don't know what to say Y/N."

"Many victims can overcome the trauma with the emotional support of someone close to their heart. Therapy wasn't very effective as he didn't want to cooperate. Through therapy we can make him aware that he wasn't to blame for the abuse inflicted by his parents, also I and my colleagues wanted to make Jungkook realize what happened to him and accept it. This by becoming one with his other self."

"But what if things will become worse?"

"Then at least we have tried."

"One more thing, doctor Mingyu." I lifted my head and stared at him. "Who gave Jungkook chocolate? "

At that Mingyu's eyes widened in shock.

"What? "

"The first-moment Jungkook had spoken to me. He just had a nightmare and he begged me to make him stop.

Something is telling me that Jungkook was abused in prison as well... by a man."

Pedophilia is considered a condition in which a person's sexual arousal and satisfaction depend on fantasizing about and engaging in sexual behavior that is atypical and extreme.
Pedophilia is defined as the fantasy or act of sexual activity with children who are generally aged 13 years or younger.
Pedophiles are usually men and can be attracted to either or both sexes.

Offenders are usually family friends or relatives. Types of activities differ and may include just looking at a child or undressing and touching a child. However, acts often do involve oral sex or touching of the genitals of the child or offender.

Studies suggest that children who feel uncared for or lonely may be at higher risk for sexual abuse.