Deviant

twenty seven

~You~

Your pov

I smiled as I was preparing breakfast.
Jungkook was locked in the bathroom for more than two hours.  I had to check from time to time just to make sure if he was alright and still there.
He liked it too much to run away so I was kind of scared he will leave without saying anything.

My smile widened remembering the way his eyes lit up the moment I mentioned bathroom and shower.  He was shy but this didn't stop him from dashing toward the bathroom even if he didn't know where it was. I had to run after him and get him out of the closet first before accompanying him to the bathroom.

He can be so cute and sweet. I wish he could be aware of how pleasant he is. And how much I like this him.

"Because of him?"

His words came once again to my mind. No. It wasn't like that. When I said that I wanted to help him, I said it because it was what I felt regarding the one with whom I was talking at that moment. I wasn't thinking at all at his other side. His presence wasn't allowing me to. Like always he had that aura around him which makes me lose my composure. He was really intimidating me as no one before. Every time he was in front of me, I was internally shaking. Stressing myself about how I should talk to him, or act or what should I say. I felt my cheeks beginning to burn as I recalled the way his cold, intelligent eyes examined me.
I have never been looked in that why by anyone until now. And I was ready to put my hand in the fire that he could see even inside my soul.

I concluded that he 'trance out' a lot when I talk to him.
His eyes glazed over and sometimes I felt that he wasn't listening to me. But it was the opposite.  Tracing out a lot is an indication of a creative and gifted person. It isn't like he doesn't listen to me, on the contrary, he makes a deep connection with something I've said and he goes on a mental journey about it. I had read about this. The recommended action is to be silent until he subliminally notices the silence and comes back to you. Then smile, with your eyes as well. And I was doing that all the time hoping that he would share his thoughts with me. But he never did. Every time he was coming back with a frown. Maybe my smile didn't give him that trust.

But surely I won't give up. I wanted to get closer. This feeling was stronger than anything I have felt until now. And the scary thing was, I didn't understand why.

"Y/N? "

I turned quickly around just to see Jungkook at the kitchen door as he looked perplexed my way.
"I can't find my clothes." He added as he was standing there in the doorway only in a blue towel wrapped around his hips. His wet brown hair looked black now, drops of water trickling down the sides of his face and neck.  A few water droplets beaded on his chest and disappeared somewhere into the indentation of his abs.
It took me all the energy to not stare at him with open mouth. And why not drool as well. I wanted to touch him. What? No.  No.  No.  No.

I shook my head to wake up from my stupidity. Then as nothing happened, I threw an evil smirk his way. "I threw them away," I said as I headed towards him, in my way picking up from the table the t-shirt and a pair of jeans I bought for him. "You will have to wear this if you wouldn't prefer to stay like this instead. After all, it isn't a very unpleasant sight to look at." My smile became wider seeing him all flustered.

Grabbing the clothes from my arms,  he turned around and dashed out of the kitchen heading towards my bedroom. I grinned in satisfaction, completely ignoring the weird beating of my heart.

As you were preparing the table, Jungkook was again standing in the doorway watching every move you made. Then his eyes landed on the table which was full of food made by you. His eyes softened.

I will not be able to eat all that. He thought, suddenly feeling sorry for your hard work which would now be a waste.

"I didn't know what do you like to eat so I made all of this just to make sure you would find something you like. " You said embarrassed after you have seen the way he was looking at the table.

"There's nothing in particular I like. Or I should say anything would be alright. " Jungkook responded as he started to walk slowly towards the table where you had already pulled out a chair from beneath the table and sat on it.

"Thank you." He whispered as he sat across from you.

"Don't mention it. I actually am happy I will not eat alone again." You smiled before pulling the plate in front of you and starting to eat your fried eggs and salad. You were concentrated on your plate, this way, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable while he was eating. But, to your surprise, he finished before you. Running your gaze on the table, you realized that he had barely touched the food.

"You... didn't like it.  I am so sorry. Should I make you something else?" You were on the verge of getting up from the table when his hand on your arm stopped you from doing so.

"I really liked it. In fact, I never tasted something so delicious. It's not about the food. I can't eat much. I already feel my stomach on the verge of exploding." Jungkook smiled troubledly.

"I am so sorry. And thank you for the food."

"How many times did they bring food for you to eat?" You couldn't help but raise your voice. It was clear that he didn't receive the normal amount of food someone should eat each day.

His stomach had gotten smaller because he was used eating less food.

"It's not a big deal," Jungkook frowned. "I didn't like to eat too much so... "

"Did you receive food every day? " You pushed further, feelings how you started to get angry.

Jungkook sighed as he closed his eyes in surrender.
"At the beginning, I was receiving food two times a day. But in the last two years, only breakfast once every two days."

You swallowed your tears at that. Jumping to your feet you quickly went to open the oven and pulled out the chocolate cakes you just made. This way hiding a few tears splashing on your cheeks.

I like being around you. He thought.
But how long would it take until you will hurt me too?

Jungkook smiled a little as he took a glimpse of what were you doing. But... he didn't like sweets. Especially chocolate. But he will force himself and eat just a little... for you.

His father was always forcing him to eat chocolate.

And that was something he just remembered.
Drops of sweat started to form on his forehead and his heart started to beat faster feeling himself on the verge of having another panic attack.

Chocolate is good for you. I am sure the taste of drugs isn't very pleasant for a little boy like you. And besides, chocolate gives you lots of energy. And this is something you need, 'cause  I will not let you go all night.