Caim

47 | bad faith

It was that moment when I realize how wrong I was. how shallow I was being by not appreciating little things that made me happy, from then my life took a complete turn and I found myself living every happy memory could get, even If It was just eating Ice cream with Layla or at that time meeting Sean.

Meeting Sean was like a breath of fresh air, we didn't have a very nice start, I resented him and he tried everything to talk to me. Sean was rich, handsome and humble. Girls my age would go crazy over his brown eyes and brown skin. He got a way to talk and make people like him. I was one of them.

Now that I got everything snatched away from me because of the guy who once made me feel what love Is, I can't help but curse myself for falling for him. he showed me many signs of deception but I turn a blind eye to him and Ignored everything he did, I fought with my parents for him. I had a huge fight with Layla over Sean and almost lost her in the process. I didn't know I would lose her at the end.

I became greedy, not appreciating my family, three people who always had my back; I betrayed them for the guy who made me lose my sister. I once again did the same mistake my dad told me not to and then regretted when I lost what should've been cherished from the beginning. I chose Sean over them, something which was never mine over all that ever belonged to me.

I chose nothing over everything.

when Sean was gone and I was left alone I always thought about my mistakes as a onetime thing, I promised myself to never feel what I felt for Sean but maybe It was karma or my fate that I met Caim.

He was all that I ever wanted in a guy I would fall in love with. He was like a teenage dream that I saw every night before going to sleep. A dream that never belonged in my reality, yet I found him and fell in love.

My second mistake.

I knew what It meant to love someone, you have to give and that's what I did, with Sean It was giving up my family; with Caim It was giving up my past, myself. As time went by, I convinced myself that Caim Is nothing like what Sean was, he can never make me feel danger. I felt safe, with Caim I felt safe.

Then I found out his reality as well and it broke me, the pieces Sean left got broken by Caim. He promised me to tell me everything but at the end of the day, he lied.

Maybe it is my karma that's punishing me for what I did to my family. What goes around always comes around.

i could never forget the day i met my doom,

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"Oh no no no, I'm late. Shit I'm so fucking screwed" I've been having a rough day since the moment I woke up, from falling down the bed with sheets wrapped around my legs to missing the only bus to the library. I seriously can't understand why this is happening to me today, maybe someone jinxed my day.

I was getting late for my book club meeting, it was my friend Karl's idea to organize a club meeting, he wanted to know everyone's opinion on the sci fiction trope. I was kind of against this meeting since I have no idea what happens in this genre as I never read any book containing something about spaceships and robots and I don't know aliens?

I was right now walking to library with- just my luck-heavy rain pouring down on me, the bag could only shield me so much, I was already late and top of that my shirt was white which meant it was partially translucent after getting soaked in the water. Nobody can see what I'm wearing underneath but they could make out the color of what I'm wearing inside my shirt.

"Ughhh, what a stupid fucking day" I mumbled to myself as I walked down the striped road, many people were rushing inside their cars with their bags shielding them like me. Some children I could see in the park were jumping in the puddles, splashing the water everywhere. They were laughing and looked so happy that I couldn't help but feel myself getting a little relaxed.