she looks so perfect // lh

2.3

"just the one bag?" aiden asked me as rose dropped me off at his flat. i just shrugged as he led the way upstairs. it was weird being back in melbs, even weirder knowing i would be seeing luke. michael tried to convince me i could stay at the flat, but i just lied and said i was heading on a trip with my friends from back home immediately after the show. for some reason i felt like i had to lie about staying with aiden. i didn't want to have to deal with any judgment or questions.

"so you can take my room right here for the night, i'll take the couch," aiden continued as we walked around the flat. i know i had been there before, but it still felt weird being there while the sun was still out.

"no, i can take the couch. i don't want to intrude," i insisted, setting my bag down in the living room. aiden just laughed and shook his head as his phone started to ring on the counter. i saw luke's name at the top and could feel the butterflies and nerves. did aiden tell him i was here?

"he can't know i'm staying here," i blurted out as he went to grab his phone. aiden looked surprised at first, but he gave me a reassuring smile before answering the call.

"hey, luke!" i could barely hear luke's voice as he spoke, but he sounded anxious. as they spoke aiden glanced at me and hesitated to respond.

"uh, no i haven't heard from her, sorry mate," he mumbled, not sounding the most confident in his answer. well at least i now know that aiden sucks at lying.

"yeah, i'll let you know. see you tonight," he hung up the call with a sigh as he flipped on the tv.

"you're a bad liar, " i said quietly as he changed the channel. he shot me a playful glare before turning up the volume on whatever game he found to watch. we sat in silence for about an hour before i started getting antsy. was this too much? was this all a mistake?

"do you have something to get off your chest or something?" aiden asked, glancing at my bouncing leg. my face went slightly red as i shrugged.

"i don't know if i can do this," i mumbled, picking at the hangnail on my thumb.

"do what? watch some live music?" i could tell he was trying to ease my mind, which was very kind of him. i didn't think i could stop worrying that easily though. besides, it's the before the show and after the show that i'm worried about.

"if you really don't want to go that's fine, but i think you should." i couldn't remember ever really having a serious conversation with aiden. i nodded along with what he said and decided against responding. i just needed to relax for a little bit. calm my nerves. after a few minutes of silence i spoke.

"got anything to drink?"
-
"one more shot!" i pouted as rose showed up to take us to the show. she eyed me for a while before sighing and agreeing. i cheered as the two shot glasses were refilled for the third, fourth, maybe fifth time. i was used to the burn and sipped an orange juice to chase down the vodka.

"we should start heading out, k," rose explained as she stood up from her seat. i just pouted. i just needed a little more time to let the alcohol soak in. i stood up, closed my eyes, and took a few deep breaths. the alcohol washed into my bloodstream and i opened my eyes after a few minutes. i checked my outfit a few more times in the mirror, debating throwing my hair up then down then up until i got dizzy and let it fall around my shoulders.

i turned to rose and aiden, puffed out my chest and said "let's go."

the car ride was long. too long. i fidgeted with the radio, but every song reminded me where we were going. i could feel my nerves getting the best of me, my stomach doing somersaults like an olympic gymnast.

"you okay?" rose asked quietly as i changed the channel for the upteenth time. i just shrugged, worried if i spoke i might throw up. maybe the shots were a bad idea. the atmosphere in the car was tense. everyone was staring at me, i could tell without looking at them. it made the whole situation that much more real. this was actually happening.