The First Night

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We were finally getting discharged from the hospital today

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We were finally getting discharged from the hospital today. River stands by the bed and packs the babies bags as I sort out their car seats. The twins were sleeping in their cribs already fed and changed.

"Ready amore?" I wrap my arms around her waist and rest my chin on her shoulder.

She turns around in my hold and wraps her arms around my waist, laying her head on chest. I move one of my hands to the back of her head and wrap my other one around her shoulders, kissing her forehead.

"Mhm."

After peppering her face with kisses, I move away and walk towards the twins' cribs. I wrap Reyna in a blanket and carefully pick her up as River does the same to Matteo. We put them in their car seats and buckle them up.

River carries the bags while I carry the car seats. We both walk out of the hospital room and make our way over to the elevators.

Moments later, we are outside of my car. River puts the bags in the trunk as I buckle the twins up. After making sure they're comfortable, we sit inside of the car. I start up the engine and swerve skilfully out of the parking lot, placing my hand on River's inner thigh.

Couple minutes later, we finally make it back home. I take the twins out of the car and walk towards the doors as River grabs the bags. Unlocking the door, I hold it open for her before shutting it. We walk up to the twins' nursery and I place their car seats by their cribs.

"We need to get more diapers. I've only bought the ones from the hospital." She says, rummaging through the baby bag.

"I'll get some." I say, picking up Matteo and gently placing him in his crib.

"Thank you." She sighs, wrapping her arms around my waist as I lay Reyna down in her crib before kissing the back of River's hand.

xXx

The air around me is thick. I can't breathe. I can't seem to focus on anything as my chest rises and falls rapidly. My mouth is dry. A familiar feeling swirls inside of my stomach, unsettling me further, drowning me into that pit of panic.

It was midnight when I got back from the store to get the twins' diapers and a couple of other things River wanted.

Everything around me was overwhelming. Even the stupidest things like fucking diapers. Fuck, what if I didn't get the right stuff?

I don't know if I can do this. I don't want to be like him. I can't fail my own children. The thought of them hating me is something I fear. Becoming the man that took away my childhood is a different type of pain.

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