𝐃𝐄𝐋 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐎 𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀'𝐒

Postpartum

It has been a couple of weeks since River gave birth to our twins. It's been difficult adjusting to our new roles but I could never be happier. I was anxious when they were born but I've worked on myself so I can be the best version of myself for them.

This is all still so new to me and my wife. I would say she has adjusted well but she hasn't. She isn't the same as she use to be. She's barely eating, she hasn't connected with the twins, she's almost always crying, she has distanced herself from everyone, she's sleeping less or sometimes too much, and she's having frequent panic attacks.

I'm thinking it's PPD but she hasn't been diagnosed or anything because she's refusing therapy even though I told her countless of times that she should go.

Due to her stubbornness, I'm left alone to take care of our twins because the thought of being alone with them terrifies her. She won't open up to me and I don't know what to do. I feel helpless.

I took a leave of absence off work to take care of them but one day I'm gonna have to go back because I can't exactly have Theo look after everything.

River has been in bed all day and I've tried everything to get her out but she won't. Fuck. She won't even eat.

I'm gonna try feed her after I've put the twins to bed. I've showered them and now I have to change them and feed them.

I lay them down on the changing table and their cries immediately fill the room. My heart breaks at the sight of the tears in their eyes and I try my best to calm them down but to no avail.

"Please don't cry." I whisper softly, holding their tiny hands with my fingers and thumbs.

Sighing, I open their drawer and take out two of their onesies before returning to them. With much difficulty, I manage to get them into their onesies and once I have I pick them up.

Their cries grow louder so I start rocking them as I head downstairs to grab their bottles of milk. They're still being breastfed but River has been pumping rather than actually breastfeeding them. She won't even do that.

Walking into the kitchen, I lay them down in their bouncer thingy and quickly start heating up their bottles.

I really need River right now. I can't do this alone.
The twins also need their mother.

Once I have their milks, I start feeding them and release a sigh of relief when they finally stop crying. I watch them drink and slowly drift off to sleep until they've finished their bottles.

Taking the bottles away, I gently pick them up and carry them back upstairs into their nursery. My eyes start to become heavy as I lay them down in their cribs and switch on their baby monitor but no matter how exhausted I am my kids always come first.

After kissing their cheeks, I quietly leave and head downstairs to make my wife some food. I don't know what she'll want to eat so I decide to cook her something light. Soup. Her favourite one.