Anxiety

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I haven't slept in fuck knows how long for a reason I'm unsure of

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I haven't slept in fuck knows how long for a reason I'm unsure of. I guess it's just stress because I can't seem to close my eyes without tossing and turning all night. I even took pills but that does fuck all.

Walking into my moms office, I throw myself on her couch and put a pillow over my face. Her company is definitely what I need right now. Just knowing that she's here always soothes my anxiety away.

I hear mom get up from her chair and I feel the couch dip beside me. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?" She asks, gently combing her fingers through my hair and moving the pillow away from my face.

A million things and I don't know how to make it better.

"Nothing ma." I mumble, leaning into her soft touch.

"Look at me," She says and I open my eyes to meet her gaze, "You haven't slept. Why?"

It's crazy how she knows everything without even having to ask. She just knows.

"I don't know," I say truthfully, "I just can't."

Part of the reason why I'm not sleeping is also because I have a big game tomorrow and I'm scared of fucking it up for everyone. So I've been overworking myself at practises. I've been doing this sport for God knows how long and I've never felt this nervous about a game.

"You need a break, Matt. Are you sure you're ready for tomorrow?" She asks, leaning down and pecking my forehead.

"I am," I say quickly, "I'll be fine ma. I promise."

She sighs and hesitantly nods her head. "Call me if something happens, okay? Sleep here for a bit." She orders sternly.

"Okay." I mutter and smile up at her.

After pecking my cheek, she gets up and throws a blanket over me before going back to her desk.

xXx

Reyna is coming with me to my game so we're driving there now.

"You good?" She asks me, turning her attention away from the road and towards me instead.

"Yeah." I reply shortly and clench my fists together to stop them from shaking so goddamn much.

I feel her eyes drop down to my hands but she doesn't say anything else for the rest of the ride.

Couple minutes later, we're finally pulling up to the arena. We get out and I grab my bag from the backseat before walking to the entrance with my sister.

As usual, she sits in the front row seat while I make my way towards the locker room. All the guys are already in here so I quickly get changed.

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