Shattered Silence

Chapter 45

I "laughed" at a joke that was in the movie Loki and I were watching. However, that "laugh" turned into a deep cough. I covered my mouth with my hand and sat up.

"Are you okay?" Loki asked, sitting up beside me and putting a comforting hand on my back.

I nodded as I continued to cough. Eventually, my coughing fit came to an end and I pulled my hand away from my mouth. I stared at it for a second. Blood was speckled onto my hand and a small pool slipped down my palm.

I quickly tried hide my hand from Loki, but I was too slow. His eyes widened and he grabbed my wrist, pulling it towards him.

"Y/n, that's blood." He stated.

Yeah, no shit.

"That's not good."

Again. No shit.

"Come on, we're going down to Banner's lab."

No. I'm fine.

"Y/n, you just coughed up blood. Blood is supposed to stay in your body, not come out of your mouth when you cough."

I'm not seeing a doctor.

"It's Banner. You know Banner."

I hate hospitals and I hate doctors. I don't want to go down there. I'm fine.

"You're going, Y/n. Quit being stubborn."

I'm not being stubborn.

"Yes, you are."

And with that, and a flash of green magic, I was sitting on a medical bed in the medbay, aka Banner's other lab, with Loki standing by the side of the bed. Banner jumped slightly at our sudden appearance but relaxed when he saw the worry on Loki's face.

"What's going on?" He asked Loki.

"She coughed up blood and I don't know what to do. She's being stubborn and keeps saying she's fine, but I know she isn't." Loki rambled.

I don't think I've ever seen him this worried before.

"I'll do some tests." Banner spoke.

Don't I have a say in this?

"No, because if you did, you would say no."

I rolled my eyes and coughed again, this time, coughing up more blood than before.

"That's not good." Banner stated.

What is with you guys stating the obvious today? Just run the damn tests already!

Banner drew my blood and ran a few more tests before walking out of the room, saying he would be back in about a half hour with the results. I sighed and laid back on the bed. Loki sat down in the chair beside the bed and tapped his foot continuously on the floor.

Relax, Lokes. I'll be fine.

He looked up to me with a soft expression.

"You don't know that."

Banner came back into the room not too long after he left. His face wore an unreadable expression and his glasses rested on the top of his head, his dark brown curly hair almost swallowing them. He pulled his glasses down to his nose and looked over the papers before turning to Loki and I.

"The tests came back, and there is no easy way to say this." He started. Loki and I just gave him pointed looks, waiting for him to continue. "Y/n, you have a tumor in one of your lungs. It's cancerous."

My face dropped and a knot formed in my stomach.

"What?" Loki said as I thought it. "How bad is it?"

"Stage three."

"It's treatable though, right?"

"She would need surgery to remove as much as the tumor as possible, followed by chemotherapy and radiation."

I swallowed thickly and fiddled with my fingers. Why do the bad things always happen to me?

"Can you administer the treatment here?" Loki asked.

"Unfortunately, not. I don't have the tools to do so. You'll have to go to the hospital." Banner responded.

I sighed and closed my eyes, laying back against the pillows. However, my body didn't want me to relax and I sat back up as I coughed again, more blood coming up. I spit it out into the trash can beside my bed.

Loki quickly sat down next to me, rubbing a hand up and down my back to comfort me in some way.

"I've already contacted the nearest hospital, informing them on your condition and everything. They have a room set up for you already. All you have to do is check in and they'll show you to your room." Banner assured. "Y/n, you don't have to go through with the surgery. I would recommend it, it's worth a shot. But there's no guarantee that it will work."

I thought for a moment before nodding.

"I'll get happy to drive you." He informed.

I shook my head.

No. This stays between us. I don't need anyone else showing me pity and apologizing for something they have no control over. I looked to Loki for him to translate.

"She said she doesn't want anyone else to know right now." He translated. "I'll drive us."

Banner nodded and left the medbay. Loki and I got up and walked back up to my room. I sat down on my bed as Loki walked around, packing things into a bag that I would need at some point.

If you would have told me a year ago that I had cancer and that there wasn't a guarantee of me making it, I wouldn't take the risk. I wouldn't go through with the surgery or the treatment because I didn't want to be alive. I didn't have anything to live for other than revenge. Now, I actually have something to make me want to stay alive; Loki.

...

Once again, I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. I really liked this story at the start and now it's just all slowly going to shit in my mind and I don't like it so much anymore.

Y/n lost that badass spark she had at the beginning. Loki is just not Loki anymore.

I had an idea after I cut the Supernatural characters out of the story, but it's too late to go back. I thought about having it so that it was a crossover where Sam, Dean, Cas, and Charlie all got sent to the Avenger's universe by Gabriel or something like that. That way it would actually fit into the story. But you know, can't do that now.

I'm pretty sure this book is going to be ending soon. Normally, I would already have my next story planned out, but I don't. I thought about doing another Bucky one, but I'm honestly afraid to, seeing how much I ended up missing the mark and hating "Stay." I'm also out of ideas for fics, so please, if you have recommendations, please tell me.

Sorry for the long ass A/n. I hate leaving these at the end of chapters.