You Rock My World

He'd really needed it

Practice didn't go smoothly at all.

Hongjoong was stuck worrying about Seonghwa and kept getting distracted, messing up his members.

"I'm sorry guys—alright, let's start Mist from the top. Everyone ready?"

"Hyung...you said we were doing Fireworks," Mingi hesitantly reminded him and Hongjoong nodded, quickly switching his music.

"Right! Right, sorry. Fireworks. Got it. Yunho, take us in."

He just couldn't get the image of that morning out of his head. Seeing how much weight Seonghwa had lost. And it was his fault.

He did that to him.

By continuously not paying attention to him when they were supposed to be a team.

By ignoring his request for space.

By fighting with him.

By pushing him away.

"Hyung? What tempo did you want?" Yunho asked, waiting for his cue.

"Right, sorry! One, two, three, four..."

The music faded away from him, into the background as his fingers felt the chords by memory.

How could he have hurt Seonghwa so much?

After all the time he'd spent trying to show him what it meant to be loved. He'd just shown him once again how much it hurt to lose.

Seonghwa had come so far for him. Before he'd brushed Hongjoong off entirely just because he was scared to get distracted. He was so tense all the time, so worried about losing everything he'd worked for.

And now here he was, risking his life for others.

Risking his entire career.

For Minho.

Hongjoong tried not to think about it.

Just because the person he saved was Minho, didn't mean that he saved him solely for that reason. Seonghwa would've done it for anyone.

At least...he would've done it for Hongjoong.

Wouldn't he?

Hongjoong's finger slipped and his guitar fell from his grip and slammed against his music stand, snapping him out of his head.

Everyone jumped, staring at him.

"Everyone, let's take a fifteen minute break," Jongho said and everyone nodded, giving him and Hongjoong some space.

Hongjoong gingerly grabbed the neck of his instrument, checking for scratches.

"Hyung...did you sleep at all last night?" Jongho asked, approaching him.

"Yeah, don't worry. I'm just not used to running everything by myself I guess," he laughed but his heart wasn't in it.

How could he possibly be mad at Seonghwa for saving someone?? Was he really that jealous? Would he stoop so low as to wish he'd been the one who almost fell?

"Hyung?"

"What did you say? Sorry, I'm a little spacey today," Hongjoong smiled in embarrassment.

"I said, is it about Seonghwa hyung?"

Hongjoong looked him in the eye, not expecting him to be so direct. He looked away.