i know what i want

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thursday night. you sat in your room. it's been 2 days since midsummers. Rafe and you hadn't talked.. you would have thought he would have came to you but he hasn't. Everyone still thinks y'all are completely fine.

you were on your computer doing stuff and you heard a light knock on your back door . you looked over to see rafe. you rolled your eyes and told him to come
in.  Somehow he managed to get onto the balcony.

"hey..." he said after closing the balcony door. "hey." you said not taking your eyes off the laptop.

"y/n!" your dad called out somewhat near your bedroom door. i opened the door but only slightly so he could only see my face.

"yes dad?"

he gave me a confused look. "i just wanted to let you know..." he paused. i think he knew something was up. " your mom and i are gonna have left overs.. so you can make whatever you want."

i Nodded my head. "okay. thanks dad..."

i closed my door immediately after. i looked back at rafe who was smirking back at me. i rolled my eyes again and opened my door but only leaving a little space for my head. "bye."

i closed it again.

"i uh guess it's a good think y'all aren't cooking..."
he said scratching the back of his head. "and why's that?" i folded my arms around my chest.

"i brought pizza... and strawberry's..." he turned his head over to the table where the strawberry and pizzas were.

my eyes went wide and i smiled slightly , but i stoped before he saw. well... i hope he didn't see. "eat with me?"

His blue eyes were soft when he asked me.. i hesitated. "fine..." i walked over to the pizza and strawberry's and picked up both the boxes and sat on the floor. "but i'm
still mad at you..."

he sat down. "i know."

we started eating the pizza. and he sat across from me. "i feel like i owe you an apology..."

i looked up from my pizza. "my dad... faked his death.. and i first i didn't know, but he called me and told me. And it involved mafia business. and your dad told me the day of the ball that i couldn't drag you into any of the mafia details.."

i took a big breath in. "i would never keep something from you that doesn't interfere with mafia work. that stuff i keep among mafia men. I would never lie too you."

i part of me knew that... "thanks.. for letting me know rafe..."

right after i said that i finished my pizza. i got up and opened my balcony door. i left it cracked.

i put my hands on the rail and then i heard the door open then close.

i felt him

he was right next to me. shoulders touching. the sky was dark.. you really could only see the city and not so much light . that was were the cut was.

"i-i'm sorry..." i was still looking forward. but this time i had my arms  were on the rail and i was playing with my fingers.

he turned toward me. but i still looked straight. "no you don't have anything to be sorry for y/n. You don't get it to be sorry."

i think he felt guilty. the tone in his voice was vulnerable. "you don't get it be reasonable for my actions tho, rafe."

"y/n-" rafe was saying something but got cut off. there was a knock on my door. i opened the balcony door and peeked my head through.

"y/n!" my dad said my name moving the knob. "why is your door locked? what are you doing?!"

"uhh drugs!" i yelled back. "mhm.. okay. i wanted to ask if you were gonna come down to get something to eat?"

"oh no im ok im not hungry." i said back. "okay...."

i closed the door going back to the rail. our shoulders were still touching.. i hesitantly put my arm through his arm. i gently let my fingers interlocked with his.

i put my head on his shoulder. he then moved his body so he was facing me, but he still held my hand.

"if you need time i get it." i shook my head at him. i knew what i want. "i don't need time. i already know what i want..."

before he could say anything or i could he pulled me into a hug. when i realized it was a hug i... i felt relieved.

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