but you did

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When we read books or diary's everyone wants a happy ending. but what if i told you that's not the case in this story?
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i don't know how he did it. If you couldn't tell already rafe left. he was off to do the heist. I spent the next 3 days with the pogues. Not wanting to think about rafe.

But at night when i was back home. It was hard to go to sleep. I would wake up numbers of times of images that he was dead.

i love him with everything i have. But for him to go on that heist... i don't know what he was thanking. I was standing in the kitchen writing down some things in the schedule book when the door opened.

i looked at up and my eyes met .... him. he walked over to the end of the counter, so i walked over to him. i really didn't know what to do.

i was mad at him but i wasn't? When i walked over to him a started to break down. i kept on hitting his chest but that didn't seem to move his body.

"you Fucking dick" i said hitting his chest and crying. He just stood there. "You" i broke down. "you left"

i was sobbing now. i find myself stop hitting him with my hands on his chest in a fist. My head was also on his chest. He then picked me up and he walked over to the couch.

"Im sorry y/n" he whispered into my ear as i sat in his lap with my arms around his neck crying into his neck.

i think i cried for a while... But like i said i didn't know if i was pissed or not. "You left.... you fucking left... You risked your whole life for that heist . You risked mine. our life that we have built..." i finally could say what i wanted to after i stopped crying a bit.

"i know... i know baby and i'm not doing it again" i hugged him tighter. "but you did. you fucking did"

i moved my head to look at him. he did too.

he put one of his hands on the side of my neck and i put one of mine on his cheeks. "im so fucking sorry" he whispered.

i think i knew he was sorry... like really sorry. i nodded my head letting him know i knew. We both leaned in to kiss.

"i haven't slept in days..." i said looking at him . his eye brows frowned. "why not?" his eyes scanned my face. i shrugged. "couldn't fall asleep at all and if i did in wake up from seeing you dead."

"do you wanna sleep on the couch? we should teat the comfort level"

i laughed a little. "i'd like that..."

i got up and turned off all the lights as he told alexa to lock all the windows and doors.

he slid over to the far side of the couch and stretched his arm out. i laid my head on his arm burring my head into his neck as he put his other arm around me.

"i love you baby" he whispered to me. "and i love you rafe" i let my hand tangle in his hair .

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