Open Case File [COMPLETED]

Shutting Out (Part 1)

As Carter headed back to her desk, she decided to take a detour past Donovan's. But as she approached, she found him intently studying a case file. He glanced at her as she neared but gave no more acknowledgment than that.

Carter kept moving, hurt. The rest of the day she spent focused on her tasks while partly thinking over Donovan.

At the end of the day when Carter went to ask if he wanted to get dinner, someone told her he'd already left. Carter stood frozen by his desk, not knowing what to.

The next two days followed the same pattern, Donovan barely talking to her at work and disappearing at the end of it. When Friday rolled around, Carter made a point to find him early and ask him to come over that evening. Donovan said yes but Carter didn't feel relief. A wall had come between them.

The drive to Carter's apartment was silent. A silent too crammed with the tension of the last three days to be comfortable.

Carter walked into her apartment, Donovan trailing after her. She crossed over to the small kitchen, thinking to get them something to drink.

But when she turned around Donovan had barely made it past the door. At least he wasn't pretending that he was clueless to why she asked him to come in. Deciding to get right to it, Carter leaned against the counter and crossed her arms.

"Why are you shutting me out?" she asked.

He stared at her a for long second.

"What did you expect to happen, Carter? You shut me out first," he said.

"I wasn't-"

He held up his hand. "Don't. Don't insult me by lying to me about it."

That was justified. But she couldn't admit how much she'd needed him but hadn't wanted him in that moment.

"I was fine."

"You understand that we've been dating for three years, I know you. You weren't fine."

Carter balled her fist then flexed it, hating what she was about to say.

"I couldn't look weak," she said.

"Being vulnerable and honest with someone who you trust and who loves you is not weakness."

"But it wasn't just you, someone else was there. I've barely been in the FBI for two months, I couldn't have it getting to everyone that I broke down over some wound."

"A wound that could have been fatal."

He didn't see. He didn't see and Carter found herself frustrated that he didn't.

"It doesn't matter!" she said. "I couldn't let anyone think I was weak." She shook her head. "You wouldn't get it, you're not a female in a 'man's world'."

Donovan scoffed. "Don't play that card with me. The medic was a woman. One who's seen countless men come through with wounds that made them cry. You think she was going to blab about you getting emotional to everyone? No, you're trying to hide your actions behind a smoke screen. What it comes down to is for the sake of your pride you shut me out."

Carter hated him. Hated the truth in his words. Hated how he saw through the defense.

"Did it ever occur to you that I was terrified for you?" Donovan asked.

At this, Carter couldn't meet his eyes. She'd seen his fear and worry.

"Did you think that maybe I wanted to be there for you because I not only understood but was scared how close you came to death? Huh? But instead you shut me out."