Saviors ; 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘥

065. ꕥ A Void In Me

I was having flashbacks — it was like Mount Weather all over again. Everyone else was taken except for Raven and me. Now, I was the only one left. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack as I kept looking. Eventually, after what felt like hours of searching, I went back inside the Dropship to think this through.

John wouldn't leave me. There's no way he'd leave me. Even if he did, he'd tell me where he was going. He's coming back.

I paced back and forth in the Dropship; it was something I found myself don't pretty often. This place didn't bring anything but stress and worry to me.

Through one of my paces, I noticed something on the floor. It was a piece of paper off in the corner. I went over and picked it up. It was folded, and on the front, it read, Jo.

My breathing was shaking, and my knees felt weak. I could recognize that handwriting anywhere. The handwriting that helped me learn because I couldn't go to school.

I unfolded the paper to see a page filled top to bottom with words. There was barely a blank space on the paper, so I knew my brother had a lot to say. And whatever he says better give me a damn good reason for why he left.

My eyes closed as I took one more deep breath before I started to read.

Jo,

I am so sorry I left you at the Dropship. Knowing you, you were probably worried sick when you saw I wasn't there. And I'm sorry for not waking you to tell you this in person. I just don't think I could face you.

I'm going with Jaha to the City of Light. We don't even know if it's real, so this whole thing might be pointless. I think this trip will be good for me whether I come back from it or not. For your sake, I hope I do. I hate the idea of leaving you forever — this trip might kill me, but I realized being on the ground that... you don't need me anymore. You are the strongest person I know. You survived a freakin' Grounder war. You survived getting shot, you survived the surgery, and you did that all without me. On the Ark, we relied on each other all the time. Down here, we don't, not as much, and that's a good thing. Please don't feel bad about you not needing me because I know that's what you'll do. We both knew it was going to happen eventually. You're my badass little sister, and I know you'll get through whatever comes, with or without me.

But I'll always be here for you, no matter what. I might not come back from this, and if I don't, I'll still always be there for you, one way or another.

I love you so much. You're the best twin sister I could ever ask for. May we meet again.

-J.M

P.S. Bellamy loves you. He really does, so just let him, okay?

The tears that were coming down my face wouldn't stop — they just wouldn't — no matter how hard I tried. I didn't want to cry, but here I was. I — I — I don't even know what to think. John's gone, and he might not be coming back. My twin brother that has always been by my side might not be coming back.

This wasn't the first time I felt this way. When Clarke banished John, I thought I would never see him again, but sure enough, he came back. Somehow, someway, John survived and came back. Would he be able to do that again? Would he be able to survive the impossible and come back? I wanted to believe that he would, but in the back of my mind I knew, it could just be false hope.

Tears were still coming down my face as I took a deep and shaky breath. Carefully, I folded the note back up and set it down. I put my jacket on, the same one John got me. Thinking about it only made me cry even harder. I grabbed the note before putting it in my pocket, making sure it was securely as it could be.

I walked out of the Dropship and paused on the ramp looking around at all the burned skeletons that still lay about. All the Grounders had lost their lives the night we burned them alive.

These Grounders looked how I feel — burned, empty, lifeless. In the past — I don't know, five days, three of the people closest to me have left me. One wasn't coming back for sure, but two... there was the tiniest possibility that they would, but it was more than likely they would die.

And at that moment, I wanted to.

❣︎

A/N
damn, that hurt. i feel so bad for jo, she just can't catch a break.

but, in some good news, my cousin got me spider-man: nwh tickets, and i'm super excited!!!

well that's all for now
-annie