He Taught me Love

Chapter 14

Clay placed the last plate onto the table along with a cup filled with juice "Okay lunch is ready!" He smiles admiring the arrangement of sandwiches and chopped veggies "looks good doesn't it?" He asks Tubbo who has been stuffing his face with carrot sticks.

"Mhm" he mumbles around another carrot a few pieces dropping from his mouth "very good"

Clay chuckles, taking a chopped green pepper for himself, tossing it into his mouth "Why don't you get started on lunch and I will be right back'' He says ruffling Tubbos hair.

Turning around Clay makes his way upstairs standing in front of a familiar white door. Taking a deep breath he slowly lifts his shaking hand grasping the cold handle twisting the door open.

"George?" He softly calls

He enters the darkroom, lights off and curtains closed "George?" Clay whispers again seeing a human-shaped lump on the bed, the sound of sniffles occasionally lining the wall of silence.

Clay frowns, the empty side of the bed dipping when he takes a cautious seat "Can I see that beautiful face?" he asks, reaching a hand to stroke George's covered back.

Curling more in on himself George shakes his head no a muffled cry coming from underneath the blanket

"Okay okay, I'm going to lay down with you until you are ready" Clay leans back, his head meeting the soft cushion of his pillow.

They lie there, the company of each other bringing a looming warmth to the room like a cool breeze on a late summer morning, the wind freshly blowing against bare skin.

Clay hums a quiet tune, lids rest shut mind at peace, a waveless sea- calm tides guided by the moon.

"Clay," A small voice says. The blond knew it was Georges, but it was almost unrecognizable; the once cheery British song that Clay was so fond of now seemed detached, each word becoming more broken.

"Yes,'' Clay answers immediately.

"C-could you hold me please?"

The question caused a smile to form on Clay's lips. He turns his body to the side arm wrapping around George's waist pulling him closer to his chest "Is this okay?" He whispers, smoothing the small of the brunettes back.

"mhm," George hums nuzzling closer to Clay, breathing in the warm scent of vanilla as though without the intoxicating smell his lungs would give out "I don't know what to do anymore" He mumbles sliding the thin fabric below his chin revealing his red flushed cheeks stained with tears and dark circles surrounding his brown sad eyes "I really don't. I thought I was doing everything right. moving here, being with you, adopting Tubbo. being this perfect person for everyone" He cries "So why is everything so fucked up for me?" The words turn to a sob fist clutching the material of Clay's shirt.

"Oh George," Clay says pulling the brit impossibly closer as the thought of him disappearing stabbed at his mind "You do not need to be or act perfect for me to love you"

"I do"

"No George you do not you are amazing just the way you are" the grip on the brunette's waist tightens thumb grazing the smooth skin a sensation the blond had missed, craving to feel his boyfriend once more. "Everything about you is so indescribable you have been so strong throughout everything and I'm so proud of you" The words roll off his tongue easily spilling the truth about his love.

Georges looks up at Clay through his thick brown lashes, eyes watered over "You don't mean that" He sniffles sadly.

"I mean it so much it hurts George you, my love are one in a million"

George's lips tremble as tears fall into his eyes and his fingers caress the back of Clay's neck. "I'm so sorry" he balls, forehead pressed against Clays "I- I didn't mean to"

A frown appears on Clay's face as he recognizes the meaning of the words "Can I see them" He questions.

"What W-why?"

"I want to see how many times you needed me and I wasn't there"

As he slowly sits back, George removes the blanket that covered his body, showing long red lines across his thighs, as well as silver traces of cuts that seem to be fading.

Clay stares at the wounds speechless. His eyes travel across the marked skin lifting his hand to hover over the deepest one "Can I?" He softly asks.

George nods, allowing Clay to lower his hand, fingertips grazing across the indented line, his green eyes filling with tears that threaten to spill over.

"How long were you clean for?"

"Four years" George sadly states eyes cast to his fiddling fingers a few sniffles emitting from his tinted red nose. "I'm such a failure"

Clay grips George's chin between his thumb and index finger forcing his eyes to meet his own. "You are not a failure"

He presses his lips into the others "you will never be a failure in my eyes" He whispers between another kiss while traveling his lips down to connect them with his jaw, then his neck, leaving small love-filled pecks.

Now that he is lying on top of George, his mouth is trailing down his torso and reaching out to kiss every wound that shattered his thighs. "So so beautiful" He whispers,

George lies on their bed, holding his eyes as he wept gently, but this time his tears were filled with gratitude, grateful for the man he can call his own, someone who is here now kissing every painful scar.

He could feel the kisses becoming rougher, a slight suction feeling against the skin. Pushing his upper body onto his elbows George looks down at Clay with furrowed brows.

"What are you doing?" He giggles, the blonds facial hair tickling the skin

"Leaving my marks on you" Clay lifts his head and reveals purple spots covering George's legs, his face holding a smug smile.

After adding a few more marks of his own, Clay returns to George's lips to connect them once more.

"Thank you" George sniffles wrapping his arms around Clays neck

"I know this isn't enough for you to forgive me, but I promise I will do everything in my power to win you back"

Clay hugs the boy below him like George is the last source of oxygen and he's struggling to breathe.

Forgiveness is not always easy at times it might feel more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.