2021, Dec 17 - Namjoon (The Village, Going Back To Songju)

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(A/N: Super long narration lmao)

[Places: The village, bus stop]

I continued to slow my pace and finally came to a stop. It was dawn in a country village where even the buses didn’t run frequently. The entire village was blanketed under luminous snow that had fallen all night. The trees were hunched up like massive white beasts and shed hair-like snow every time the wind blew. I knew without looking back that I was the only one leaving footprints across the snowfield in the village.

Both of my feet had long been soaking wet because of the cracked soles of my sneakers. I once heard a saying that “God makes us lonely to lead us to Him.”

(A/N: from "Demian" authored by Hermann Hesse)

But I was not lonely. I was not following the path towards myself. This was a retreat. I was running away from myself.

(A/N: Sorta throwback and moments before he got there.)

My family arrived in this village last fall. The amount of belongings we brought continued to get smaller each time we moved to a new town. Now we only needed a small delivery van to move. We were in no position to be picky about where we lived. There were only two conditions. One, with a hospital for abeoji, and the other one was an employer who was willing to hire someone without a high school diploma.

This village had both. The bus that ran twice a day stopped in front of the county-run hospital, and a series of small eateries lined the stream behind the town. These eateries sold stew and fries made with small fish caught from the stream, and the summer months were their high season. Crowds seeking a waterside excursion poured in from nearby cities, and the demand for deliveries to those staying at the village with the rest area on the mountainous ridge was high.

During winter, when the stream froze solid, the eateries used preserved fish caught in summer. There were not as many tourists as in the summer, but calls for delivery remained steady. I was one of the town's delivery boys.

Of course, there was competition here, too. Most of the households subsisted on farming, and, as can be guessed, were not that wealthy. Delivery service was the only part-time job available for the boys in town. Eatery owners made us compete against each other. "Isn't it natural that I hire whoever impresses me the most?"

For them, it didn't matter that we were minors and didn't have driver's licenses. The boys who'd already been hired acted very territorial. They were only a few, but they threatened me with harsh hazing.

During vacation, the competition became fiercer. We voluntarily and competitively ran errands and took out the trash for the owners. Their convenience only drove us further. And yet, almost unexpectedly, we came to develop a sort of solidarity among us.

We were rivals, but we had a sort of sympathy for one another. If one of us didn't show up, the rest wondered what had happened. They also reminded me of the time I spent in that classroom-turned-storage room at high school. Some of them were similar to Yoongi hyung, and some to Jimin. I couldn't help but wonder. If my friends from school had met here in this village, would we have competed against and tried to outrival each other? If I had met these delivery boys at school, would we have become friends?

Snow fell heavily when our competition, territorial instincts, and strange sense of solidarity all reached their peaks. Then, the competition subsided instantly.

A motor scooter was a must to make deliveries to the village with the rest area, but it was very dangerous to ride a lightweight motorbike along the snow-covered and mountainous trail. The trail that led to the village with the rest area was steep and winding. Delivering on foot was not an option. In the end, it was a showdown between Taehyung and me. Taehyung was two years younger and lived on the outskirts of the village near the orchard. Taehyung wasn't his real name. It was either Jongsik or Jonghun. But he reminded me of Taehyung. He didn't have that silly smile or easily open up to anyone with his gentle, naive nature. Rather, he always seemed aggressive, angry, and discontent. On the outside, he appeared similar to Yoongi hyung, but, oddly enough he reminded me more of Taehyung.

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