Chapter 24

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“It’s so good to finally meet you. I mean, I saw you in all these photos with Pete and you were so pretty but you’re even prettier in person.” I looked up at Hillary and blushed at her compliment. “Thank you” I simply said because I didn’t want to get into a discussion. It felt like I had started receiving more compliments since I had become pregnant and that made absolutely no sense. I could tell I had already put on some weight but I didn’t want to weigh myself to confirm that.

Hillary poured some juice into a glass for me because I had denied champagne and coffee. Pete kept eyeing the champagne while sipping on his coffee cup. “I can drive, Pete, feel free to drink champagne” I said after a while when I couldn’t bear it anymore. He finished his coffee and shook his head. “No, I’m fine, you shouldn’t drive so much. It’s exhausting.” “What about last night? Was I exhausted?” He laughed. “Yeah, you were.” “Pete, if she feels like she can drive, you should let her. Especially while she still can, she’s not that pregnant yet” Hillary said. “Yeah but I worry about her anyway” Pete said. I looked back and forth between them. “Guys, I’m right here.” “They don’t care” Andrew grinned. I rolled my eyes.

“I absolutely adored you two as a couple.” “Hil, don’t” Pete interrupted his sister. “I’m just saying. Can I not express my opinion, big brother?” Pete sighed. “Not about this. Or would you like to discuss the rumors about you and Benji back then with Charlie?” She took a deep breath and shrugged, shaking her head. “Alright then. What am I allowed to talk about?”

“Your tattoos” I said quickly to ease the tension. “I love them, can you show me some?” She walked over to me and pulled back a chair. “Sure, have you got any?” I shook my head. “No but maybe after I have the baby, I could get one.” Pete moved closer to me. “Are you sure?” he asked sceptically. I rolled my eyes. “Is there anything you haven’t got a problem with?” I sighed. “Yeah, it’s just that you don’t have any so I’m confused that you wanna start now. I’m just making sure it’s what you really want.” “I still have time and nothing’s decided so calm down. Plus, it’s my body.” Pete raised his hands in defense and got up, sitting down on the couch and turning on the TV.

“What are you thinking of getting?” Hillary asked. “Well, I was thinking maybe the name we end up giving our baby.” She smiled. “That’d be nice, anything else?” “I don’t know, I guess just little symbols that mean something to me, I’m not sure.” From the corner of my eye I could see that Pete was looking at me and obviously listening even though he had the TV on. “He’d find it hot” Hillary said, leaning in to me so Pete wouldn’t hear her. “I’m not sure I want him to” I replied quietly. She shrugged. “It’ll make him feel bad for letting you go. Like I said, I thought you were great together, you were so much better for him than Ashlee or Meagan.” I inhaled deeply. “I’m not too sure about that.”

“Girls! Always whispering about something” Andrew said and got up from the table as well, sitting down next to Pete. Hillary and I exchanged a look and both grinned. “I hope once you have the baby, you come down here to visit us.” I nodded. “Of course, whenever I can.” Hillary smiled. “Good. I haven’t seen Bronx in like two years.” My eyes widenend. “What?” “It’s too complicated with Ashlee and everything.” “We could’ve brought him!” “No, she just would’ve stirred up drama, don’t worry about it.” She seemed sad and I could understand her, this was her nephew we were talking about here after all. “I won’t let that happen with my baby, I promise.” She smiled. “Thanks. Have you thought of a name yet?” “No, Pete is absolutely not the best person to discuss names with.” Hillary laughed. “I can imagine."

I spent the afternoon talking to Pete’s sister completely while him and Andrew watched a football game on TV. Hillary made some food in the meantime and we had lunch together before in the early evening, Pete announced that it would be time to go because we would otherwise never make it to New York. When I heard that, the anticipation of seeing the city sparked up inside of me again and I couldn’t wait. I hugged Hillary and Andrew Goodbye and Pete and I drove back to his parents’ house so we could get our stuff. I hated that we had to leave so early but Pete was right and I mean, he probably hated leaving his family again even more.

By 8pm, the car was packed up again and Pete was driving onto the highway, Hemingway was barking in the trunk. “We’re driving all the way through now” Pete announced. My eyes widened and I stared at him from the side. “What? You need to sleep or let me drive at least after a few hours.” Pete shook his head. “Nope, I don’t.” I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms in front of my chest, simply because I didn’t want to be having this kind of conversation with him, again. 

We drove in silence for a while until Pete was the first to speak again. “I texted William, by the way” he said. My head snapped around to look at him. “What?” I asked, instantly assuming he had told him that I hadn’t stuck to our deal of not telling Pete about kissing. “Yeah, I told him that I don’t appreciate him kissing my ex-girlfriend. I mean, you don’t do that to your friends, do you?” he said, still calm as fuck while I was starting to get slightly upset. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you, we agreed we wouldn’t.” Pete shrugged. “And yet you did.” My eyes widened. I swear, he was trying to provoke me. “I think the fact that he didn’t want to tell you shows that he knew it was wrong.” “I just wanted to make sure.” I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair in frustration, trying to stay calm but it was starting to become impossible once I got bothered about something. I hated him sometimes, I really did. Okay, maybe I was just being hormonal.

I pulled my legs up on the seat and rested my head against the cold glass of the window, trying to get some sleep as Pete drove through the night. I didn’t even want to replace him driving anymore, if he was growing tired, that would be his problem, I wouldn’t take over and I would stick to my excuse that he had used on me several times now. Plus, I was a woman and women apparently can’t drive as well as men.

But I couldn’t sleep, I got more and more tired but I couldn’t fall asleep. Whenever I was just about to drift away, I heard a noise or I made a movement that I woke myself up with. “If you wanna stop at a hotel so you can sleep, we can do that” Pete mumbled from the side and I turned, looking at him. “We don’t have to, we haven’t even been driving for four hours” I said with a quick glance at the digital clock of the car. Pete shrugged. “I don’t mind.” A smirk grew on my face. “You’re tired yourself, admit it.” He shook his head quickly. “No way, I’m just worried about you, I noticed that you weren’t be able to sleep.” “Oh, I can cope, I don’t have to drive” I said and crossed my arms in front of my chest. “Do whatever you want. Feel free to make a decision” I said stubbornly. He sighed and shook his head slowly as if he couldn’t believe it, as if I was being ridiculous but I knew what he was really about now.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. He could do whatever he wanted but if it had been me, I simply wouldn’t have wanted to stop because a hotel meant paying money, money which I didn’t have. I don’t know how my thoughts ran into that direction but slowly, I was realising how much I had let Pete do for me again. He had paid for the hotel and he was paying the money for the car, a flight probably would’ve been a lot cheaper, he kept paying for my food, he was paying for everything. It was nice for once, to not worry about money but it also made me feel uncomfortable in a way. The time we hadn’t had contact … I had struggled, I had really and properly struggled but now, all that stress had fallen off me, no matter that it made me feel bad. Life with Pete was easy, life with Pete was – when we got along – carefree, it could relax me and it was so much easier, not only because of the money but also because I didn’t have to fight with anything. Being with him, it felt like cheating. I felt like I was cheating on life in all kinds of aspects when I was with Pete. 

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