Family Love 💠 [1]

No ok

I hadn't left Henry's side. I somehow left Sophie go, me I was a mess. I had basically gone to work with him everyday. I just hoping it isn't to annoying for him.

"Pen you ok" Adam asks noticing me flinch when someone touched me. It was a random man at the crime scene, I knew he didn't mean it he was just seeking comfort. Adam grabs me when I don't answer trying to get my attention. I flinch back stepping back again away from Adam "Penny" he asks concerned which catches everyone's attention "hey are you ok is he bugging you" a random person asks I can't see them my mind trapped with a certain horrible man. His eyes captivating me as he touches me. I don't realise the feeling I'm feeling isn't him that it's someone trying to help. "No no please stop" I yell pushing the person away from me I can hear Yates telling me he will always find me. "Lillie Lillie" I felt two arms around me I go to jump back "it's your Henry" he whispers forcing me towards his chest. I struggle at first but hearing it my Henry I relax holding onto him for dear life. I step back after a few minutes wiping my eyes weakly smiling. "What happened" Henry demand looking furious Adam looks guilty "this guy he touched he I'm sorry Penny I should have stopped him" I wave him off "Adam told him what happened and he grabbed me for support but I flinched I couldn't help it I don't know him" "We told you Lillie you don't have to help it" Al said making me realise they had all come over. Great now I'm taking away from the victim. "Then Adam tried to help but I was already gone I was back there Henry I was with him" I could tell by everyone's looks that they now knew how bad it is. They started to realise that I didn't sleep, I could barely stand being touched by anyone but Henry, that I had constant flashbacks.

I had gone home, basically forced Henry to stay and work. It was my first time on my own since. I sat on the deck sipping my tea just trying to calm down. "You ok" I jump at the sound of a new voice almost falling off the deck "door Voight gave me a key he has a meeting with the commander didn't want you to be on your own to long" I stare at Jay nodding slowly "Al" "what am I not good enough" he smirks "he had something planned with Lexi offered to come with her but Voight shut it down" I nod "I'm ok" "now I know your lying" I tilt my head confused "you seem to forget you helped me through my ptsd and I can tell you have flashbacks hell I saw one...you aren't sleeping are you" he said slowly coming over and sitting beside me. He was watching to see if I jumped back , to see if he needed to stop. I knew he wouldn't push to hard, just like I never pushed him. He sat beside me leaning back in the chair. "Want to talk about it" I don't look at him just stare at my clean green and colourful backyard, sipping my tea. "Nice backyard" he changes the subject which I'm thankful for "I designed it when Justin was young wanted something new we get it done up every couple of years" he nods "I imagine you designed most of the house" I nod "Henry doesn't know style" laugh out I turn to face him "Henry doesn't know how bad it was" "I think he has an idea if your waking up from nightmares" "he raped and beat me many times" Jay was the first person I told. I watch him tense, but he slowly lets that go when he realises if I haven't told Henry I haven't told anyone. "He knocked me out many times" he slowly goes to touch me but hesitates causing me to sigh a grab his hand holding it. "I was in the car when he killed Nadia" I had tears in my eyes "it was weird it was like I was knocked out but could hear everything" he squeezes my hand making me smile "she went down fighting Jay from the moment I was conscious in the car with her to her final breath she fought with everything she had" "I think Erin might need to hear that" "I was a mother to her yes but we were never close Jay she was always Henry's daughter" Jay gasps "what" I roll my eyes "oh right no one knows how" I roll my eyes "Henry cheated on me before Justin" he gasps "we were engaged for a while...three years I think basically married I like to say" I take a deep breath wondering if I wanted to tell this story. Only Al knew the full story. Not even Erin knew. "We were apart I was in Florida with my sister she was sick and her husband was off fight a war" he nods "I was gone for a while I don't blame him" "does excuse what he did" "did say it did but I forgave him" I weakly smile "I was with Cat for two years only seeing Henry on weekends when I came back we were strangers...he had to start again it took a while but we both fought for the love we once had and somehow got there we got married I fell pregnant on the honeymoon the rest is history" he nods "when did you find out" "he kept ignore calls and messages from a person named bunny...i left it alone for a while before it started to annoy me why was this person messaging my husband" I take a deep breath "I cornered him and asked that's when he told me about his five year old daughter Erin" I sigh "I was shocked he also told me that Bunny only uses his money for drugs" he nods "I told him he had to fight for his little girl I went and stayed with my sister in New York with a one year old Justin we stayed there for a few months before coming back. We worked through it I let him deal with Erin focusing on Justin with everything I had. He brought he around a couple of times but she ultimately lived with bunny" he nods "I will let her fill in the rest of the blanks" I shrug "you sure your ok" "constantly plagued with memories of him but yeah I'm fine I have Sophie I have to be strong for" "you don't have to be strong I'm sure Voight and Al will tell you that...you can cry or do anything you feel no one will judge you" I nod "I nod leaning over and hugging him. This time I wasn't hiding a flinch I didn't flinch at all. I was just happy in his arms. He was the first."Aunt Lillie" I turn around startled but relax seeing Connor running towards me. I wrap my arms around him, smiling when I don't flinch. "How are you I haven't seen since you came back...I was so worried but I had shifts" i shake my head holding his arms "I don't mind Con honestly I kinda was only around Henry until recently when Jay someone pulled me out of my hole of fear" he looks confused "he came over and we talked since then I have been working on hearing for instance I can now hug you without flinching and thinking I was back there" he weakly smiles as we begin to walk together "I'm just glad your ok" I nod "how did Jay help wow" I pause thinking about it. I didn't know whether to tell him. "He had some good advice" he was confused for a moment "the ptsd" I look confused "Will asked us if we knew techniques that could help" I nod "Jay recognised what I was going through was patient" he smile "well I'm glad he help but I got to ask why didn't you go to Dr Charles" I sigh truth was I didn't know. "I don't know at first I just wanted Henry" he nods "Flynn and Justin stayed with us I kinda wrapped myself in a little bubble I barely left Henry's side" "does he know about the rape" I froze "how do you know" "I heard what happened to Nadia I kinda assumed" I nod "I haven't told him but if you figured it out then I imagine he figured it out then he sure did just doesn't want to say anything" I run my hands through my hair as he takes the pram from me pushing it himself "he must know his so cautious when he touches me" how could I not realise. "Don't over think this Lillie" "his worried about Erin who out of everyone has barely check on me" harsh I know but I'm in a mood "I'm sure she's just busy" "busy enough to want us all there when she needs it complaining we don't treat her like family if we aren't then when I need everyone where the hell is she" I was venting I needed this I knew he would listen and not tell anyone. Justin would be pissed and go straight to Erin or Henry same with Flynn so I kinda only had Connor.