The Forgotten Goddess

It Should Have Been Me

Immediately, a sense of security fell over the two and they cuddled into each other. For the first time in over a year, Alexandrya felt mostly safe.

Bucky POV

As Hannah slowly drifted off in my arms, I lay awake. So much had happened in the last couple of days, or was it weeks, I can't remember. I couldn't remember a lot when the people took me. I remembered getting my new arm, and I remembered the pain of the shocks. But that was about it. As soon as I saw her face, it was like a flood of memories. I remembered Steve, OH GOD STEVE!!!! He's probably beating himself up, blaming himself for my fall. Honestly, I was kind of glad he didn't catch me. First off, he probably wouldn't have been able to pull me back on the train and we both would've fallen, now at least he'll be able to live his life with Peggy. And second, if he had been able to pull us both up, I might have never seen Hannah again. I hope he doesn't beat himself up too badly. Peggy will take care of him, right? Those two always were like siblings, and siblings look out for each other. I just wish I had gotten the chance to tell him how I feel. Now I never will. (A/N: I know in the movie Steve and Peggy fall in love, but in this book, they have more of a sibling relationship. You'll know why soon if you haven't already guessed.)

No, I can't worry too much about Steve now. Right now what matters is the girl, scratch that, the woman sleeping in my arms. Even in sleep, her face is scrunched up in the memory of pain. Come to think of it, I haven't seen her face void of pain. I need to find a way to keep those soldiers from hurting her again.

Soft sobs started to fill the cell. I looked down at Hannah and saw the tears. 

"Oh, doll, hey hey hey. Wake up doll, it's just a nightmare." I gently shook her, making sure I was careful of my new arm. Her eyes opened and she turned and looked at me. Oh, what I'd do to get that hollow, sunken, dead look out of her eyes. All I could do was hold her close.

"Deep breaths for me doll, come on. You can do it." I encouraged in a soft voice. She soon fell back asleep. Not long after, I fell asleep, with her still held tightly held in my arms.

Alexandrya's POV

I awoke an hour later feeling warm and safe. I hadn't felt like that in so long. I tried to sit up, but something was holding me down. I looked up and saw that it was Bucky's arms that held me. I smiled softly at the fact that I now had someone I knew here with me. My smile soon dropped as I realized that we were both stuck in this awful place.

"Good morning Hannah." Bucky's sleepy voice cut through my thoughts. I looked over and smiled at him. I tried to put as much happiness in the smile as I could, but I could tell from his face that it didn't look very happy at all.

"Good morning Bucky. You don't need to call me Hannah anymore, they call me Shadow but my name is Alexandrya. There's no use in hiding my name." I decided to use the name my mother gave me. It was mine after all. I wouldn't let Doctor take my name from me as well. He's already taken enough.

3rd Person POV

"You know, Alexandrya fits you better than Hannah," Bucky said, smiling. She gave him a sad smile in return, blinking tears from her eyes. His eyes filled with concern.

"What's wrong, doll?" Bucky asked.

"I almost made it out," Her voice was barely a whisper. "I almost got out. He sacrificed himself so we could get away, but I didn't even try. He died for nothing. It should have been me."

"What do mean?" Bucky was confused, but he wouldn't push her if she didn't want to talk about it. Alexandrya took a deep breath in and told Bucky about Mia and Jeremy, and what he did for them.

"A-and they shot him. I should've ran. I shouldn't have looked back. But instead I-I," she paused, forcing back tears, "I turned around and let them circle me. I had to wish him on a safe journey. I allowed myself to be taken back so I could say a silly thing to a dead man." Alexandrya slowly looked up at Bucky, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes. But as her eyes meet his, all she sees is understanding and sorrow. 

She stops holding back her tears and lets them fall silently down her face. Soon after, his arms are around her again. She leans into him and cries. She can feel his tears on her neck as he holds her close to him. For a long while, they sit like that. Silently crying, holding on to each other. No words are spoken, none are needed. 

They pull apart as they hear the facility starting to wake and get ready for another day.

"No sleep for us I guess," Bucky said, intending it to sound like a joke, but in reality, he just sounded tired. Alexandrya chuckled softly, an empty sound, in agreement. They stood up and moved away from each other, not wanting the guards to separate them if they thought the two were too comfortable together. 

Alexandrya looked down at her hands. Blood and dirt under her fingernails, lash marks all over her skin. She sighed.

"What would my mother say if she saw me here, like this. If she saw how I had given into them. How I failed at my chance of escape. She'd be disappointed in me." 

"I doubt that she'd be disappointed. In fact, your mother would probably be very proud to see that you tried. She'd be proud that you went back to his body to wish him well on his next journey. What you did is something from your culture, and it gave that little girl time to run. You saved her life. How could your mother be disappointed in you when you just saved someone's life?" Bucky's words rang true in her ears. She knew he was right. 

Her mother wouldn't want her to hide, she'd want her to fight. So Alexandrya decided then and there, that she was going to do just that. For her mother, for her two friends on Asgard, for Bucky, but mostly for herself. She wanted to show the people like her father and Odin, the people who didn't believe she could do anything, that she was more than the scared little girl they saw. She was Alexandrya Miadottir, Goddess of truth and promises, Lady of water and the sea, and she would not let them break her.

A/N: That's Chapter 6! Hope you liked it. I decided that with how traumatic the last chapter was, this one would be a bit sad (because they're trapped in an evil organization, how could it be very happy), but in a sweet-sorrowful way if that makes sense.

Also, sorry that you haven't really seen Alexadrya's powers yet, but don't worry you will soon! Thanks for reading!

Good morning, afternoon, evening, night!