Chapter 32

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He never took himself for a romantic but his entries seemed to read like a love story . The girl he described , the way she caught his attention , his never ending fascination with the way she told stories . He didn't think he'd care about them as much if she wasn't the one telling them . He still couldn't put a face to her though . There was a warmth that spread through him at the mention of her name .


it was scorching but a cool breeze cut through every now and then so y/n and i decided to have a picnic . After lunch I wanted to take a nap . I could feel her staring at me so i opened one eye and said " , if you keep staring at me like that someone might think we're in love . " And the she had THE AUDACITY to make my heart flutter and coyly say " aren't we tho . " I played it cool and said " I am . " but why would she do that to me . I can't function with his girl around . My brain turns to mush when she gives me that look with that smile . I am officially what she'd call a simp . I didn't give her a chance to say it back . We started laughing for no reason . I think part of me was scared she didn't feel the same but lets not get into my insecurities .


what the heck is a simp ? road work ahead ? He continued to read over his work . In one entry he described how they spent a whole afternoon cleaning and how he didn't hate it . Anyone who managed to make cleaning bearable had to be his soulmate . He could almost hear her voice when he read over a particular section . It was an entire page dedicated to lyrics written in a poem-like fashion . A song Y/N had sung under her breath while they washed windows .


I really wanna change the world but cant change my clothes wanna find a girl but can't find my phone i just lie in bed till the afternoon dreaming bout the things that i wanna do if i wanna change the world i should change myselfi should make my bed i should dust a shelf shouldn't lie in bed till the afternoon dreaming bout the things that i wanna do


Edmund swore he he could hear her humming . Her voice wasn't anything outstanding , the low whisper and gentle tremble added to the words . She would sound better accompanied by music but she wasn't awful . They spent another day shopping , emptied their rucksacks and walked for 10 minutes . She told him about " bung tung " and a mister " Sook gin " but she seemed happy so he let her rant . Reading it he could almost make out her smile and the flowers on the side of the path to the market . They also bought sugar for jam because they found a wild blackberry " orchid " . Y/N said she'd only ever made jam in a microwave so Ed promised to teach her


BUT I ENDED UP DOING ALL THE WORK ANYWAY because she found a cat while they were berry picking . I'll admit it was cute but its fur was weird . Half red , half white , perfectly split in half by colour . She named him Todoroni because of this and his lack of a name . She explained everything while I made the jam and she cleaned him up . Poor thing was stuck in a rose bush . I found it a bit odd that he couldn't speak but then I remembered why we came here . Jadis . She must be getting stronger . I hope lucy , susan , and peter are alright . I hope they aren't too worried .


He lingered on another passage about a fight . Y/N made another reference and upon seeing his confused face went on about the movie or series or book or whatever . He replied with " , I actually don't care about any of that . " She got defensive and offended . He could see her eyes well up with tears even now . She started comparing him to her family and people at school . It was a good while of silent tension from the misunderstanding before she stormed off to the bedroom . He followed her . He sat her down on the bed and explained his statement a little further .


" I dont care about super heroes or quirks , ideology or societies problems . I understand that you love those things and that's why I listen but just because I don't care about them doesn't mean I don't care about you . But I feel myself getting a little tired of all the references and jokes I have to keep up with . I love the passion you have for all these things but I'd love to talk about . . . other things . "


They spent the whole night talking about something other than pop culture . It was nice . They found shared interests instead of her just droning on about hers . He got to see how fascinated she was by him for once , even if she wasn't a big fan of cricket . Ed smiled as the memory played back in his mind . He hadn't noticed how dark it was until Lucy peaked into his room with a candle and food tray in hand . Shoving the book under the covers . With a fake yawn he asked what she was doing . " I thought you might be hungry , so I brought soup . " Apparently he hadn't noticed how hungry he was . His stomach growled as she set the tray across his lap .

Lucy lingered even after she lit all the candles in the room . She told him about how everyone was on edge after he left . Caspian and Susan fighting and how he was out looking for the two of them every day . And how she thought that him staying out to look for them seemed like a way to avoid Susan for a while . Lucy was a lot more preceptive than people liked to admit . 

They moved to more light hearted topics , Lucy's botany lessons and part time work in the infirmary . None of which should have prompted Edmund's nightmare . 

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