Rip My Heart Out

Chapter Nineteen

The fridge light comes on and I grab a couple of grapes from a bowl.

I pop them into my mouth and start walking back up the stairs toward my room.

"Hey, harry." I stop in his door way but my little brother isn't there. I hear him moving around in my room.

I open my cracked door and start speaking but fear takes over my body. I see Harry on my floor, headphones over his ears and my cassette player turned on.

"What is this?" He innocently asks, looking up at me.

I can hear the familiar words even standing this far from him.

"Harry, oh gosh. Take these off." I pull the headphones from him. "Don't go through the my thing." My words sound more angry than I mean them.

Harry starts to cry and I feel sorry for being so upset.

"No, I'm sorry. Harry, it's okay. Please stop crying."

"What's going on in here?" My mothers soft and feminine voice calls as she approaches my room from the hallway.

"Nothing." I try to explain over Harry's cries.

My mother looks at him though, "Are you okay, sweetie?" He runs and hugs her leg.

"Ashton." Sniff. "Got." Hiccup. "Mad." Louder crying.

"No I didn't, Harry just got into my things, I didn't mean to make him cry, Mom."

She rubs his back, "What things?"

I look down at the tape player in my hand and regret telling my mother the truth. "He was listening to my tapes."

"Well, let me see that." She grabs it from hand without letting me move.

"What were you trying to listen to?" She asks in a baby voice to Harry, who's sobs have quieted down.

She holds the headphones to her ear, my heart launches from my chest to my mouth. I can't breathe.

I picture her reaction seconds from now when she hears the truth moaning my name.

Her thin finger is about to press play when my father voice is heard from downstairs, "I'm home!"

"Oh." She says softly, looking behind her to the source of the sound. She hands the tape back to me, "Be nicer to Harry, Ashton." She gives me a warning look.

Harry follows my mother and I try to remember how to function.