Rip My Heart Out

Сhapter Thirty-One

A/N I'm so sad :( What are you guys favorite Zayn fics?

We pull into the church parking lot. "You wanted to come here?" He has an almost sarcastic tone.

"I don't know where else to go since I can't go home, I was really hoping to stay at Luke's." I trail off.

He looks unsure but says "Alright, I'll see you later, okay?" And he sounds so genuine I assure him he will.

The building is quiet and empty in contrast to its usual state.

I sit in the first row, staring at the stage void of a loud pastor yelling at me. I think about Michael's words; how here you have to be perfect.

He's wrong though, it's not the place. It's the people.

There's peace in sitting here quietly, no speech, no engrossed parents, no 'amens' coming from rows back.

"Hey, God." I say, laughing at what I must look like to an outsider.

"Um, I'm not really asking for you to change me or asking for forgiveness because I kind of realized there are things you just can't change. I would like a miracle right now though, maybe my parents somehow realizing who I am isn't a mistake or..." I stop.

Sighing, I say "Maybe just the parents thing."

Luke is probably one of those things you can't change, even if Michael says he was lying. His words just seemed to true.

Every time I try to open my mouth to continue my one sided conversation with God all I can picture is the disappointment on my fathers face. My mother's tears. I wonder what they've told Harry. I wonder if I can come back to get my stuff. So many things I wish I knew, so many things I want to say to them. I just want their love.

The roar of an engine interrupts my worrying.

Part of me is hoping its Michael.

When Luke bursts threw the double doors leaving them swinging behind him though, I can't help but smile. Even if it is a small one.

His face has a worried expression and he runs up to me as if I was trying to escape him.

"Ashton." He's out of breath. "I want to be with you, okay? I lied earlier because you make me feel this way that no one has before and it terrifies me and thrills me all at the same time."

My smile grows wider.

"I say all those things that I do to make you mad because if I wasn't saying stupid shit like that I'd be telling you how beautiful you are to me. With out you I'm nobody, killing time. I've learned that recently."

He keeps babbling on and he looks so upset, so worried. His blue eyes sparkling and his blonde hair a mess from his fingers.

I just wrap my arm around his neck and grin, "God, you talk to much."

He stops and looks at me for a moment before breaking out into a wide smile and kissing me, wrapping both arms around my waist.

A/N Probably only one or two more chapters after this guys, that's insane. I'm so sad it's almost over but I'm also so grateful for everyone of you who has read this. I love you guys and I want to continue writing for you all so if there's a story you have in your mind but you just don't know how to write it message me! I love you all so much :)