Rip My Heart Out

Chapter Twenty-Three

"Lucas, will you be joining us for dinner?" My mother asks hopefully once we get home.

"Actually," he looks at me, "Ashton and I were going to have dinner at my house."

My mother's smile falters a little, "Oh, lovely."

I don't look her in the eye as I walk the stairs to change out of my church clothes. Luke waits for me outside.

"Now, that party you promised." He smiles and rubs his hand when I meet him by the edge of my drive way.

"Luke, I don't know. You didn't really take church that seriously."

He rolls his eyes, "That wasn't the deal. The deal was I go with you you go with me."

I bite my lip but agree, "Alright."

•

He takes me to his house.

"I've got to change out of these." He says, unbuttoning his shirt as soon as he walks through the door.

I follow him to his bedroom, a sight I have never seen before.

Much like the rest of his house, it's white. The walls, the bedding, the furniture.

I stop in the doorway and watch him.

He slide off his shirt and lays it on his bed. His muscles moving under his skin every time he extends his arms. The dress shirt is replaced with a white t-shirt.

When he's done he throws another shirt at my head. "Unless you want people making fun of you, change."

I reluctantly do as I'm told after locking myself in his bathroom away from his sight

Once I reemerge from the bathroom I ask "So where is the party?"

He smiles, "Here."

•

The sun is low in the sky when people start arriving and with a blink of an eye Luke's entire house is filled with people I've never met.

I lose him in the crowd of people. I know I agreed to this but it doesn't feel fair.

I walk through his house, avoiding eye contact with strangers and ignoring the advances from drunk boy and girls.

"Have you seen Luke?" I ask a girl who looks to be the most innocent of people here.

She looks at me confused and asks "Who?" I just shake my head and walk on.

I look in the kitchen, he's not there. I check his living room, the laundry room, the front and back yard, and all the bathrooms.

I give up and head for his bedroom. I see no point in surrounding myself with a bunch sinning strangers.

I walk past a closed door to get to Luke's and I decide to check it, it being the only room I haven't been in.

I knock, but no response. Then I try to open it but it's locked.

For a moment the idea that Luke is in there with someone else flashes in my mind. If he really was I would have no right to be mad. We aren't together, I don't even like him.

I shake my head and walk on, shutting the door to his own bedroom when I enter.

I kick my shoes off and fall on to his bed. The loud voices traveling from downstairs are muffled and create a soothing hum.

Next to my head is a night stand. I open one of the drawers out of pure curiosity. Inside of it sits a magazine, one similar to the kind Calum had but this one has men on the front.

I immediately throw it back down but look around the room. I'm not in my own home and being curious was never a sin, or at least I didn't think it was.

I sit up and adjust to a comfortable position.

On the first page is a tall, muscular man with short blonde hair. He's shirtless and has boxers that are too small for him on. I bite my lip and turn the page. Next, the same guy laying on a bed, boxers gone. I close it fast, but then think about what Luke would say.

Each page reveals things I've never seen, men who look to be about twenty to thirty something with younger looker boys draped all over them.

"Well." A voice comes from the doorway. "Looks like someone is having fun." His words are slurred and it reminds me of Calum a couple nights ago. He shuts the door behind him.

I swallow and close the magazine, trying to hide it. I hadn't even noticed my body do that thing it does when I think about Luke too much in the shower.

I nervously look at Luke then to my crotch. "It's called a boner, you don't have to look so scared." He laughs.

"I'm not, I just, it's, where have you been?" My words come out as one word.

"Not important." He walks toward the bed. "What's important is that we take care of you." His steps are messy and an unfamiliar smell lingers on him.

"What do you mean?"

He ignores my question and picks up the magazine that I half shoved under his pillow. The muffles voiced from downstairs seems to echo louder in my ears.

"I like this one a lot." He starts turning the pages. "Oh, this page is my favorite." He giggles loudly.

I look at what he's pointing at, a boy laid out on a bed, handcuffs around his wrist keeping him there, another man has his mouth on the boys penis, I think Calum called this oral.

I look at Luke's face instead of the page now, he's already looking at me.

A/N I'm sorry for using the word penis I just feel like that's what Ashton would say lol I hate that word it sounds to formal, what words do you guys cringe at and what words do you think make a smut scene better?