Hellayuhah [Accepting Requests]

Fuck It, Soulmates (Alex x Gerard)

It's name was Nu, Nu nu, a ringneck parrot that was the most blinding shade of green to ever exist. This bird barged into his life just a few months ago, man were those simpler times. So not only was it a talking bird, it also claimed to be Gerard's soulmate finder.
—————
Gerard: Man, I want a boyfriend
It was the weekend, and our favorite celery stalk was bored and alone in his home, with nothing better to do he was just about to do something productive when suddenly he heard a small tapping sound coming from his bedroom window. He was alone at home, which sounds like the beginnings a horror movie just waiting to happen but it's fine.
Nu: Hiii
Gerard: What the fuck!
Nu: Don't be scared my fellow buddy! I'm your new pal Nu Nu, Nu for short
Gerard: You're a, a
Nu: Yes, a talking parrot, shocker am I right?
Gerard: You're a spirit
Nu: Oh? You can already tell? That's great, now if you can just let me in-
Gerard: I don't know what you want but I am not letting you in
Nu: Yeah you will
Gerard: Why would I?
Nu: Well, if you want to figure out your relations with others...
Gerard: Nope, I think I'm good
Nu: Oh come on, you don't see a talking parrot everyday speaking perfect Korean do you?
Gerard: Exactly, that's why I can't let you in. This is all too shady
Gerard: And just because I have spiritual connections doesn't mean I work with physical animals
Nu: Not yet you don't
Gerard: Oh god
Nu: Don't worry, just imagine I'm like, a spirit possessing a bird or something
Gerard: That's unethical!
Nu: Okay what about reincarnation
Gerard: Well that's a lie seeing as you didn't use that first
Nu: Whatever, I'm here to help you find your endgame partner
Gerard: Couldn't you have chosen anyone else?
Nu puffs out their chest: Well I'm sorry
Nu: I can't control who the gods want to mess with
Gerard: Gods? As in, plural
Nu: Eh, maybe. It was bleary
Gerard: What even are you
Nu: I am a parrot, simple as that
Gerard: Still not letting you in
Nu: I was just being polite anyways
Gerard: W h a t
—————
When Gerard's parents got home they brought a 'surprise' with them. Along with a cage, food, and toys for a bird they brought Nu themselves
Mommy: Look at what we got! Isn't she just the cutest?
Mama: We saw her at the pet store and we knew she was perfect for you
Gerard: Oh wow, thanks...
Mommy: What are you going to name her?
Nu whispering: You better say Nu
Gerard: Hyeonu, Nu for short
Mama: Aw, it's so cute
Mommy: Wasn't one of your old friends name-
Gerard: No!
Gerard coughed: I mean, I came up with the name on my own
His parents looked at each other with that knowing look
Mama: Anyways, if you need anything else you can tell us
Gerard: Will do mama
Mommy: We love you
Gerard went back to his room: Love you too
—————
Nu: So
Gerard: How the fuck
Nu: Gave myself a pretty hefty discount, man things are a lot more expensive nowadays
Gerard: Nowadays?
Nu: Yeah, it's not a complete lie that I was reincarnated a few times
Gerard: Oh, can you tell me more?
Nu: I would, but I need to tease you first
Gerard: What
Nu starts laughing, it was uncanny to see a bird who was supposed to sound raspy and use broken Korean laugh so humanly, maybe they were reincarnated.
Nu: I can't believe you named me after Hyeonjin-
Gerard: How do you know his name?
Nu: I know a lot of things about you
Gerard: ...
Nu: Anyways, I'm also a girl, which is why your moms used she pronouns for me
Gerard: Oops
Nu: You're such a simp
Gerard was suddenly hopeful: So me and Hyeonjin?
Nu: You're platonic soulmates
Gerard: Platonic?
Nu: Friends to the very end, you have quite a few platonic soulmates actually
Gerard was slightly disappointed: Oh
Gerard: Wait, does that mean me and Hyeonjin's relationship-
Nu: Yeah, it can be fixed
Gerard smiles: That's good.
Gerard: Wait I have more soulmates?
Nu: Well yeah, although it's more like fate mates but that sounds weird
Gerard: It does
Nu: Right, so basically I can see your familial bonds, friend bonds, enemy bonds, and your romantic bond
Gerard: That sounds cool
Nu: It's a mess, everything is tangled up together at one person and it's not even an enemy or your romantic person, it's a friend
Gerard: Well you have to narrow it down more than that
Nu: Literally all your platonic soulmates are tall redheads, how am I going to narrow it down?
Gerard: I-
Nu shakes her head: Your romantic partner isn't even your type
Gerard blushes: Well if they're platonic soulmates they can't be my type-
Nu: It's only platonic because you get over your crush on them
Gerard: Ack-
Nu cackles: I know everything!
Gerard: Can you tell me my romantic soulmate name?
Nu: Well you have to say their name first, hints also work
Gerard: So if I say cat boy
Nu: I know you're talking about your friend bond with Teddy
Gerard laughs: Good to know
Nu: Anyways, I'm going to get some bread so open your window
Gerard: There are bugs outside
Nu: I can fit though the mail slot, probably
Gerard: You're fat
Nu: You're ugly, that's why your endgame partner doesn't even think twice about you
Gerard: Ow! My self-esteem!
Nu: Nu Nu out! Peace sucker
Gerard: Did she just, merge with the wall?
Gerard: Oh my god
—————
Alex: Hello? Hellooooo?
Alex lightly jabs Gerard in the stomach
Gerard wheezes from the impact: What was that for?
Alex shrugs: Bored
Ben: You okay man? You've been looking out of it for the past few days
Gerard: I'll be fine, I just have a new pet
Rowan: Ooh what kind?
Gerard: It's some sort of parrot
Gray: What color?
Gerard: Bright green, small
Alex: Everything is small compared to you
Gerard: That includes you too
Another jab, man Gerard was not getting any slack these days.
Gerard groans: Please stop, I don't have enough energy to deal with this
Alex: Just take a nap
Gerard: I'm trying but y'all won't shut up
Alex: Sounds like a you problem
Ben: You're not even in your own class
Gerard: I could say the same for you as well
Rowan: I can get you some coffee if you want
Eugene: I can too
Rowan: Okay but like, it's my turn now
Eugene: That's cap
Teddy: You want coke
Gerard: Sure
Teddy hands him a coke can
Gerard: Oh you meant the soda
Everyone: ...
Gerard: I was joking geez
Gray critically: Could you explain why it's funny?
Gerard: Uh, coke, soda. Coke, cocaine. I used to smoke and nicotine is a type of drug. I don't know, it just sounds funny to me
Gray looks unamused: Alright then
Then again, Gray usually looks like that
—————
Donald: Oh? You're back again?
Nu squawk: Ya!
Donald: Mhm, back to steal my bread?
Not even a moment later the small parrot perched on his shoulder began to eat his bread right from his hand.
Donald: Rude
Despite the annoyed tone he used he let the bird have its way.
Donald: I should adopt you
Nu: Taken!
Donald: Taken?
Nu: Not yours! Not yours!
Donald: Okay okay, you sure are a smart bird huh?
If Nu was human she would've been sweating so instead she just open her beak to ventilate herself
Donald: However, who let you roam free like this?
Nu: Me!
Donald: So you're a bad bird huh
Nu: No, Nu is good! Nu is good bird
Donald: Hmm
Nu shifted on his shoulder nervously as she was being stared down.
Donald shrugs: Oh well, less responsibility for me then
—————
Nu: Do you know what Hawaiian bread tastes like?
Gerard: Bread?
Nu: Perfection, if I wanted to taste love I bet it would taste the same
Gerard: If you wanted to taste love???
Nu: Yeah, but it's complicated but I can absolutely eat one of your strings
Gerard: Wh, why would you do that?
Nu: I don't know, why did you think Hyeonu was a good name?
Gerard: ...
Nu: That's right, keep those non-existent lips closed
Gerard: I have lips!
Nu: Where??
Gerard whines: You're so mean
Nu: So you really have no idea who you're end-game partner is?
Gerard: It's probably a guy...
Nu: Also in your friend group
Gerard: Why didn't you say that before?
Nu: You have a sad little life
Gerard: Hey!
Nu: I thought it would have been obvious to you
Gerard: Ugh whatever, I need to meet up with them soon anyways
Nu: Oh yeah? Well I'm going to mess up your room for no reason
Gerard: Please don't
Nu: I'm not listening~
—————
Gerard: I am so tired of my bird already
Alex: Sounds like a you problem
Gerard: You don't get it do you?
Alex shrugs: Not really, but I have been in contact with this adorable bird that eats from my hand
Gerard: Lucky, I wish my bird wasn't a brat
Gerard: By the way where are the others?
Alex: Ben and Gray went solo on us and the rest are going on their pre-planned date
Gerard: Fuckers
Gerard leans his head on the desk: I want to go on a date
Alex: Same
Gerard: Wanna ditch?
Alex chuckles: Sure, studying is pointless without Gray
With that they exit the library side by side.
Gerard jokingly: You wanna go on our own date?
Alex: Sure
Gerard shocked: Wait really?
Alex shrugging: I have nothing better to do
Gerard: Ah
But despite that comment the two found each other somewhat flustered.
Nu: Caw caw
Gerard: What the hell are you doing here?
Nu perches herself onto Gerard's shoulder much to the human's annoyance.
Alex: Oh it's the bird I was talking about
Gerard: Wait you know Nu Nu too?
Alex: Nu Nu? That's an adorable name
Gerard mumbles: You're adorable
Alex: What?
Gerard: What
Nu: Heh hEh
Gerard: Not the creepy bird laugh
Alex: Wait if it's your bird then why is it flying outside?
Gerard: How would I know? I don't open my windows and keep the cage locked
Gerard: I do keep my door open
Alex: Would you keep it open for me?
Gerard: You're welcome to come in anytime Alex
Alex: Wait where is this conversation going?
Gerard: Something about a date and realizing we know the same bird
Alex: Huh, anyways, we should bring it back so it doesn't fly away
Gerard: I can just, hold it
Nu: *Don't you dare*
Gerard: When did you speak English???
Alex: Bro your bird is dope
Gerard: Do you want it?
Nu: I mean, y'all do know your soulmates right?
Alex and Gerard: WHAT
Alex: It can talk fluently!?
Gerard: He's my w h a t
Nu: Anyways, bye!
Gerard: Come back here you flying rat
Nu: Heh hEh!
Gerard: Fucking hate that laugh
Alex: I can't believe it can talk. You really trained it well!
Gerard dejected: I wish I can train it to shut up
Alex: You really have nothing good to say about your Nu Nu do you?
Gerard: She may be a pretty bird...
Alex: But?
Gerard: I think you're prettier
Gerard thinks to himself: Why did I say that, WHY DID I SAY THAT WHAT
Alex smugly: I know
Alex confused: Wait are we flirting?
Gerard groans: You're so stupid
Alex finger guns: You know it
Gerard: Stop-
Alex: Make me
Gerard: That's a risky thing to say
Alex: Are you going to act on that risk?
Gerard scoffs: Not without your consent
Alex: Oh yeah, that's important
Gerard: You do know how to safe in relationships right-
Alex counts on his hands: Abusive, toxic, protection, stds, consent, prevention
Alex: I think I got it all
Gerard: When did you learn that?
Alex: Whenever I go to Ben's house for some reason
Gerard: What
Alex: What?
Gerard: What is your relationship with Ben-
Alex: It's like you and Nu Nu
Gerard: What
Alex: I mean, I thought that was obvious
Gerard snickers: Does that mean you're the 'pet' then?
Alex winks: Only for you babe
Gerard: Stop, my silly little heart can't take this-
Alex points at Gerard's chest: Give it to me
Gerard: What my heart?
Alex sarcastically: No your nipple
Gerard: Ahhhh!
Alex: Do be kind of cold though
Gerard: Ugh, you bastard
Alex: So where we going for our date?
Gerard: You can't just say something perverted and switch to being a gentleman
Alex: Well I just did so
Gerard: Dammit, and to think I asked you out of all people
Alex: What can I say I'm a catch
Gerard: No you're not
Alex: You literally like me
Gerard: You like me too and what am I?
Alex: A bottom
Gerard: No-
Alex: L o b s t e r  t r a p
Gerard: How does that-
Alex: Sorry I forgot the word, I meant bait
Gerard: I guess that makes sense
Gerard: Wait, how the fuck did you forget the word bait?
Alex: Shut
Gerard: ...
Alex: ...
Gerard: Wanna hold hands?
Alex: Fuck yeah
And so they held hands and walked in comfortable silence to enjoy the rest of their day without their friends
Ben: I was gone for ONE hangout session what happened???
Alex: Bird
Eugene: A Bird?
Gerard nodding: A bird