WANT (completed)

ch. 62 | Waking Up

CASSANDRA'S POV

My head aches as I jerk it gently to the side, stirring myself from my sleep. My entire body feels exhausted, and I nearly don't recognize why I feel like this. As my eyes finally flicker open, I wince silently as the bright lights in the room overcome the darkness that I was used to while asleep, evoking a small groan from me.

"Cas? Baby, I'm here. Can you hear me?" I hear Asa's voice as I slam my eyes shut again. It's hard to keep them open because I'm still feeling so groggy, and the brightness of the room isn't helping. My mouth feels dry, and I'm struggling to speak up because of how tired I feel.

"Hmmm," I try to form words as I feel his hand on my belly. It takes me a few tries to pick my eyelids again, and when I'm finally able to get them open, I'm squinting hard to be able to take a look around and glance over to my side, where Asa is seated right next to me, slightly leaning over. It's in this moment that I realize that I'm in a bed, and he's seated in a chair, like you would in a hospital. "Asa?"

I'm in a hospital? I don't really recall much between when I started panicking in Zac's office, and what's happening right now, but my heart sinks in my chest at the thought of what could have happened. As soon as that thought comes to my mind, my eyes fly open in panic, and I find myself trying to sit up by grabbing onto anything and force myself into a seated position, but failing miserably because of how weak my body feels.

"Hold on, love," Asa's words are somewhat soothing as I realize that he's keeping me from thrashing, and raising the head of the bed so I'm seated up. I reach out for him in a panic, grabbing onto his arm gently.

"Ohmygod, Asa," the words fly out of my mouth before I can even process what I'm saying or thinking. I don't hold back, because I'm in such a need to get answers. "Asa...Asa...the baby?!" I gasp out, trying to find some answer in his expression.

My heart aches for a moment, so worried about the baby. I'm fourteen weeks, meaning I've made it past the first trimester already, but I'm still terrified that something might have happened to this baby. It's possible, and knowing my terrible luck...God, I don't even want to think about that. I just want to hear that he or she is okay.

Asa slowly sinks into the seat again, smiling at me calmly. His expression gives me some hope that everything is okay, but I need him to verbally tell me before I get my hopes up in case things are terribly wrong. Asa's hand caresses my baby bump, and I find my own hand flying out to cover his.

"Baby's okay. You're okay. I'm here. We're all okay," Asa answers all my questions without me even having to ask them, and I can honestly say that I've never been so thankful or relieved before. In my entire life, I've never felt fear in the way that I just did, and it just made me realize how badly I want this. For the past few weeks, this baby, and knowing that Asa was here for us is what has kept me going. "Everything's going to be okay."

My eyes pool with tears at his words, and as he gazes into my eyes sympathetically, I know that he must have heard everything. I'm not embarrassed, but I don't know if I'm ready to talk about any of it. What is there even left to talk about? Everything about my life feels like a lie — my mother lying to us this whole time, my father not even being my father, my best friend betraying me because she was sleeping with my ex-boyfriend and selling me out. None of that is okay, but it's not like any of that will ever change.

"I know. I'm here," He leans forward, pressing a soft and gentle kiss to my forehead as I close my eyes, letting out a shaking breath. Asa's hand is still pressed against my bump, trapped between my own hand and the blanket that covers my belly. Gosh, I love him so much. It's like he knows what I need and how badly I need it.