WANT (completed)

ch. 47 | Retail Therapy

CASSANDRA'S POV

Lauren truly wasn't kidding when she said that I would likely start feeling some symptoms soon. I don't know if it was the fact that I knew that I was pregnant and should be feeling some sort of different, or if I was actually feeling onset of pregnancy symptoms, but since this morning, the nausea has been through the roof.

I couldn't keep down my overnight oats this morning, or my cup of coffee, which was now decaf due to the news that I received two days ago.  I'm still so unsure about how I feel about being pregnant, but also have not brought it up to Asa.

It just feels like I haven't gotten the best chance to. After lunch in his office, we both went about our days, and that night felt really rushed between my ice skating (in an indoor rink that Asa had booked for me) and his early night due to having tons of meetings the next morning. He was late at the office last night, and had another early morning at his own company today.

I was able to keep my mind off of it for the most part, especially through this afternoon as Camara invited me to go shopping with her, but suddenly, as I'm now trying on these dresses that I picked out, I'm feeling the urge to purge my light snack of cheese and nuts. I can't stomach anything, and I totally feel the awful breast tenderness that the pamphlet had quite clearly warned me of.

"What do you think of this one?" Camara yanks back the curtain in my fitting room and steps in, placing a hand on her hip as she struts in the white and green mini dress that she chose. "I was thinking it would be great for the Labor Day party in September. You know, the one where everyone wears white in the Hamptons and all that?"

I slowly nod at her, giving her a weak smile as I swallow the urge to yack right then and there. It's a cute dress, but I can't imagine why Camara is choosing an outfit for an event that months away, especially when she will likely find a thousand other items that she will like better by then.

"I like it, but the green might be a little much for the all-white theme," I point out, grabbing my water bottle from my bag and taking a huge gulp of a sip. I felt so warm in the tiny fitting room with the dimming lights that make you look good regardless of if you're wearing a potato sack or a body fitting Aritzia dress like the one on Camara right now.

"Well, we like making statements, right? I think this would be perfect for you to wear that day," she beams as she grabs the white dress with pink detailing hanging on the hook. It has a cute ruffle on the bottom, thin spaghetti straps, and an open back. "The pink is a perfect pop of color. Why don't you try it on?"

Camara practically shoves the dress in my hands, and I oblige so that she can give me a second to change. I feel so suffocated and even more terrified, especially thinking about Labor Day. It's nearly three and a half months away, and I can't help but think how far along I may be by then if I decide to keep this baby.

I turn towards the mirror as Camara steps back out, closing the curtain behind her. Just as she does, I can't help but brush my fingers against my stomach, lifting my shirt up just a tiny bit.

It's surreal to think that there is a tiny human in there. If it wasn't for the morning sickness and the tender breasts, I don't even think I would be able to believe what Lauren had said in the doctor's office. I'm not sure if I fully do believe it now. I just can't wrap my mind around it.

"You should also try this one!" Camara yanks back the curtain again and rushes back in, urging me to yank my shirt down and drop my hand to my side. She stares at me through the mirror, likely due to my sudden and suspicious movement. "What's wrong? You don't like the dress?"