Covered By Her Scars

25

~ breathe. this is just a chapter of your life, not the whole story. ~

Sofia

I expected Coal to be thrown off by that question, but he didn't even flinch. 

"I wish I knew." He said. 

The only light in the room is the slightest bit of moonlight, shining through a crack in the curtains. The light is so dim. 

It only shines on Coal's eyes. I don't know if he can see me or not, but I'm looking right into his eyes. I can't seem to look away. He just looks so...

Drained. 

"Goodnight Coal." I say softly, closing my eyes. 

"Goodnight Sofia," Coal whispers. 

_________________

*

There he was. Hanging from the ceiling. Bottles of pills scattered on the floor. As I walk closer and out of the shadow I was hiding behind, I'm pinned against the wall. 

"YOU DID THIS!!" My father spat at me. I cringed, closing my eyes tightly. 

"YOU SEE THIS??" He asked, pointing to Luke's lifeless body. I nod silently, letting the tears fall down my eyes. 

"IT WAS YOU!!!" My slaps me across the face. I whimper silently. Begging myslef not to let him win, not to let him take over my dreams too. He's taken enough from me, my fucking humanity. He won't take this from me too. 

"It wasn't me." I say, so quietly, hoping he wouldn't hear. 

He scoffs, "YES IT WAS. IT'S ALWAYS YOUR FAULT. I NEVER WANTED YOU. YOU AND LUKE WERE A PACKAGE DEAL SO I HAD NO CHOICE." 

His grip on my throat tightens, suffocating me. I clutch my hand around his wrist, using all the energy left in me to try and release his grip. My toes are dangling off the floor. 

I take uneven, shaky breathes. Gasping for my fucking life. 

"One day I will kill you Sofia." He spits on me. 

He pulls out a knife. He releasing his grip, but quickly pulls the knife up to my throat. 

"You won't see the light of day ever again." He says right before slashing my throat. 

*

I jolt up, gasping for air. My hands go immediately to my throat. Uncontrollably, tears fall from my somber eyes, to my lips, where I taste the saltiness my dad has created. 

"Sofia?" Coal rubs his eyes. 

I try to steady my breathing, but nothing works. 

I'm having an anxiety attack.

I jump up from the bed and rush to Coal's bathroom. 

"Sofia what's going on?" Coal asks, coming into the bathroom. 

His eyebrows furrow when he see's my tears, and my gasps for life. 

I feel like he's suffocating me still. I feel enclosed in his grip. I want to die right now. I wish the dream was real. I wish I never had to feel the guilt I feel every fucking day. I want to feel alive again, I want to go to school in the morning, without stares. I want to wake up and be able to wear whatever I want without being insecure about my scars. I want to be refurbished of the marks that cover my skin. I'm covered by my fucking scars. 

"Hey, hey, hey," He cups my face in his hands, "Breathe soph, in and out," 

I try to concentrate on his voice.