Covered By Her Scars

| Introduction | edited

Scars. They cover me. On my back, my collarbone, my waist and stomach. I don't like to show them. I don't want questions. I don't want guilt. I just want to be free of my fucking scars. 

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GUYS I HAVE TO WARN YOU- the first few chapters are so terribly written and cringy. I PROMISE IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER AND MORE REALISTIC TO WHERE EVERYTHING ISN'T PERFECT.

these are a few reminders and trigger warnings before you read my book: 

- i am not a professional writter. 

- this book is purely for the people who want to read it, if you don't, then don't

- trigger warnings may include: in depth talk about suicide, physical and mental abuse, extreme anxiety, eating habits, mental depression, death, physical violence

- the first few chapters are cringy in my opinion because i was just starting to get the hang of writing but i promise they will get better 

- i will edit once the book is finished

- my book goes into deep thoughts

- anyone who is struggling with something, please feel free to message me, i'm always open to talk

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this is a little introduction to the main character and how everything kind of flows at their school and friend group

I'm Sofia Miller. I have long, brown hair, blue eyes, and I'm quite tan. I used to be the outgoing friend, the one who was always smiling and laughing. 

Now I'm the friend who fears of going out. The friend who just simply exists. 

I didn't choose this lifestyle, it just came upon me. 

God plays favorites in this sick game of life. And I don't want to be a player anymore. 

Every single thing that has happened to me over the last year and a half, hasn't left my mind for a second. I get nightmares when I'm sleeping, and live it during the day. 

My only escape is softball. 

My best friends come from the softball team. Alyssa, Riley, Luna are the only people in my life who understand what I'm dealing with. We've played softball together for a long time. 

But do not get me started with the baseball team. Softball and baseball have been the sports of our school for the last 13 years. I've made varsity ever since freshman year. Fast forward 4 years, and here we are, senior year. The softball team has won state every year for the past 7 years. Always a competition to see who can win more games. 

Last year was supposed to set the tone for senior year. That was until my brother hung himself. 

Luke was my twin brother who was on the baseball team. My parents wanted us to be the perfect family. They wanted Luke and I to be the best players in the state, which we were, the top students at our school, and the perfectly behaved children. They cared so much about it that they didn't even recognize our feelings. 

I didn't even recognize his feelings. No one did. 

But I'm the one who has to carry the weight of his death. 

Everyone knew Luke, he was a ray of fucking sunshine. He put up this front that made everyone think he was perfectly happy. 

God, I was so fucking oblivious to how he felt. 

I blame myself for what happened to him. I should've known, he was my best friend. 

Ever since Luke died, my dad has taken his anger out on me. I have physical scars, but every time he beats me, it mentally scars me. 

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Coal Demartino was Luke's best friend before he died. He is also on the baseball team, captain with Noah. 

Coal, Noah, Will, and Marco are by far the hottest boys in the school. I keep my distance, because they were some of the only people who knew Luke as well as I did. 

Alyssa, Luna, Riley, Coal, Noah, Will, Marco, Luke, and I used to have a good friend group. We were unbreakable. Coal and I were best fucking friends, but after Luke died, I pushed the boys away, and it caused the girls to basically choose between us and push them away too. 

I decided it was easier to hate them, then to let myself love them. It was too hard to see Coal everyday, knowing he was hurting too.

I don't know if it would have been easier if we had each other, but it's too late now. We are not friends, and we will never be the same as we were.

Alyssa, Luna, and Riley are the only people who know about my scars. That know about my dad, but I made them swear not to tell anyone. 

Every time I look in the mirror I see the faded marks on my body, and I get reminded of what a waste of space I am. My mind floods with the words he says to me as the life slowly slips out of me. 

The first scar I got, was the night of Luke's death, and the chaos of my fucked up life started there. ________________________________________________________________________________