Covered By Her Scars

09

- Sofia's pov -

It's been 2 weeks since the incident at practice. Now it's the last week of January and everything is going by so fast. The girl's have tried to get me to talk about it but I just deny them every time. I feel like I'm pushing everyone way. I don't want to burden anyone else with my messed up problems. I feel like a waste of space, every breath I take, is one less breath for someone who matters. 

 One week from today will be the 2 year anniversary of Luke's death. I knew my parents would start spiraling, especially my dad, but I didn't think it would get this bad so fast. My mom has been drinking none stop, smoking whenever she wants too, like her life means nothing. My dad on the other hand is just getting angrier at me by the second. All I do is exist and he hates me for it. 

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It's the last period of the day and all I can think about is going to his gravestone after school. It's been months since I visited him. Everything has gotten worse, my grief, my dad, the sorrow. I couldn't handle seeing him 6 feet under, but I know I need too. I used to go every single day after school. I would pick up flowers from Ms.Grayson's shop which was conveniently a block away from the cemetery. Everyday turned into once a week, then once a month, then once every few months, then ever since the 1 year and 6 months mark, I stopped. Ms.Grayson even came by the house to make sure I was alright. 

My leg was bouncing up and down under my desk. I was watching the clock tick tick tick. Finally the clock hit 3 o clock and I threw my backpack over my shoulder and basically bolted out of the room. I was looking down at my feet, counting my steps until I was out the door, but was interupted by Alyssa who grabbed my wrist and flung my to the side. 

"What is up with you today?" Alyssa said softly, raising her eyebrows at me. I took a quick look up at her then to my surprise, Luna and Riley were right behind her with worried expressions on their face. 

"Guys I'm fine. Really." I said yanking my wrist out from Alyssa's grasp. 

"Your not 'fine' Soph!" Riley snapped at me. Alyssa and Luna both glared at her for snapping at me. 

"Sorry.." Riley mumbled under her breath. I turned to walk away but once again Alyssa grabbed my wrist and twirled me around. 

"Sofia come on, you used to tell us what was going on, what happened?" her voice almost cracked. I immediately felt sorry for how I was casting them out, I didn't mean to push them away, it just happened. 

"I- i'm sorry. I don't mean to keep things from you guys, just recently things have been worse okay? I do not want to talk about it. But today I'm extra anxious because I'm going to Luke's grave right now." I said, shielding my face form their surprised expressions. They all immediately softened their eyes and focused on me. 

"I'm happy your finally facing it Soph, just we are always here for you, always." Luna said, rubbing my arm. I nodded and thanked them. As soon as I was out of their sight I started running, basically sprinting to the flower shop. 

Once I made it to the door I laid my hands on my knees and caught my breath before making an entrance inside. Once I was breathing properly I opened the door to hear the bell chime, making me sheepishly smile at the memory of the bell. 

I took a quick look around and approached the counter. Soon came out an elderly lady, with glasses and her hair down and straight, also known as Ms.Grayson. My small smile enlarged into a wide pleasing smile as I saw the lady.

"Hello how may I-" She started but when she looked up her eyes softened and her lips broke out into an ear to ear grin. 

"Oh darling I've missed you!" She said opening up her arms as she came out form behind the counter. I basically umped into her arms and felt the warmed of her hands wrap around me. She smelled like lavender, just as I remembered. She looked back, still holding onto my shoulders and took a quick look at me.