Keep Me Safe

Chapter 84

He woke up at two. He subconsciously rolled onto his right side to pull himself closer to his wife. The entire time since the car ride home Toby had worried about her. She hadn't spoken a word to him or Hanna, nor had she even acknowledged their presence.

So it was of no surprise when Toby found the opposite side of the bed to be, indeed, empty.

Assuming she was asleep on the couch- fulfilling her needs for solitude- Toby made his way into the living room. He was completely shocked, if not scared a bit, to see that Spencer had not retreated to the couch.

He next checked her office. No luck. Then in his workshop. No luck. He ran his fingers frustratingly through his hair, sighing. He stood in the kitchen, worry filling his mind. She wouldn't have got in the car and left, would've she?

A sudden epiphany took place. He softly padded through the living room once again, careful not to wake Hanna in the neighboring guest room. Instead if turning to his own room, however, he slid open the door to the closed patio.

He shivered a bit upon entrance- although it was insulated and heated, the add on was always a bit chilly. Finally, he had found her, curled up in a ball on the futon. However, she was not asleep- very much awake. Her bloodshot eyes were wide and alert and she immediately turned to him.

She nestled her face into the oversized sweatshirt she was wearing, avoiding eye contact with her husband. This didn't stop Toby, however, as he sat down next to her, wrapping his arm tightly around her quivering shoulders. To his surprise, Spencer responded by curling into his side, burying her face in his chest.

He felt his tee shirt become damp as silent tears bled onto the fabric. He could only tighten his grasp of her small frame and kiss her head softly.

Once her tears subsided, he spoke. "Talk to me, Spence." It was a long shot, but maybe she was willing to open up to him.

Surprising him once again, Spencer looked up, meeting eyes with him for the first time in hours.

"It didn't go as far as he hoped it would. I stopped him," she whispered. "It was just a kiss, and he was groping me but-"

Toby exhaled sharply. "But nothing. That sick bastard tried to do that to you, isn't that enough? He wanted to hurt you," Toby growled. The thought of anyone laying their hands on her made him sick to the stomach. And it wasn't just her. It was their baby, too.

"We'll he didn't," Spencer chucked. "That has to count for something."

Glad she still had her wits about her, Toby kissed her on the forehead. He was expecting her to react much differently.

"I just feel so dirty, so tarnished."

Although taken aback, Toby nodded understandingly. He himself was a victim of sexual assault, as well. His relationship with Jenna had left him feeling scarred and worthless, too. And Spencer knew this.

"Hey," he whispered, lifting her chin so their eyes could meet again. "I know. But I promise you, it'll get better. It won't go away, but you'll start to forget. I forgot as soon as I met you. Every dirty memory with Jenna was replaced with a precious one involving the love of my life."

Even in the dark, he saw her blush.

"And I want you to know, that I love you. And this doesn't make you any less perfect. It makes you stronger, if that's even possible. I promise, as soon as we can, I will help you to forget."

Spencer laughed lightly. "I'm sure you will. I love you."

"I love you, too. So much," Toby added. He picked her up, carrying her like a mother would hold a crying toddler to their bed. He laid her down, and she immediately curled into his body. Their legs and fingers intertwined, their faces inches apart.

Tangled in their care and love.