A COLD WINTER NIGHT

Chapter 30 - It Was Real To Me

I sit back in my seat, my head falling against the cushion. The subtle impact causes my heavy tears to fall, dripping down my dirty face. I wipe them away, sitting here, feeling myself retreating to that little safe place within my mind, where I have managed to hold on to the last bit of my sanity. Sarah... you betraying, beautiful bitch. I loved you. You fucking cunt. I fucking loved you and you... and you...

"She never looked for you, but your sister and I did," dad says. "We never gave up on you nor Adam," he tells me, and I should feel relieved to hear him say that but all I feel is unbearable heartbreak. Sarah and I had our differences, and we especially had our fights but even through it all, I still loved her. I loved her when she apparently did not love me and that hurts. That fucking shreds me, because now I know, it was not real. What we had was not real. It couldn't have been because if she had truly loved me, then she wouldn't have broken my heart as many times as she's done.

"It may not have been real to her, but it was real to me," I choke.

Later that night, we arrive in the city of Stockholm. The driver parks along the curb next to an old brick shopping center downtown. I stare out Edvin's window, eyeing the circle plaque that is carved into the door. On it, displays the emblem of the mafia world code in the universal language.

"If I shall die, they will know my name," I whisper after reading it in Latin. "Everyone stay in the vehicle. I need to do this alone and then I will come and get you," I tell them. Dad grabs my shoulder. I turn to face him.

"Be careful, son," he says to me. I give him a little half smile. "I've been through hell and back, dad. What more can happen to me?" I darkly joke, yet he does not smile. "I'll be careful," I assure him. I turn towards Edvin and tap his shoulder.

"Let me out," I tell him. Edvin nods and opens his door. He steps out into the cold air, allowing me to climb out behind him. I look to him.

"Get back in the vehicle and make sure you and the others do not look my way. They get spooked and either we all die, or go on without their help and trust me, we're going to need their help," I tell him.

"I will make sure we all follow your orders," Edvin tells me. I nod, and then tap his chest.

"You're a good guy, Edvin," I say before I turn and walk away, leaving Edvin to get back into the vehicle and shut the door behind him. I approach the door, knocking three times. The little square peep door opens, revealing the eyes of another man.

"Vad vill du?" he asks, questioning what I want.

"Serpens comminatus est, serpens mordens," I respond in the universal code. The man nods and then the door opens, revealing another man standing just behind it. A man that I suspect must be of importance.

"You must be Daniel, a trusted member from the American chapter. I am Lukas Andersson. The one and only mafia king of my beautiful Sweden," he greets, with a slick corner smirk.

"Pleasure to meet you, King Lukas," I say.

"Oh no, but the pleasure is all mine. I must say, I was much surprised to receive such a thrilling call from King Rhysand about your visit. It is not every day that I am gifted in hearing his ruthless voice. He seemed to take a liking to you when he talked about you over the phone, so I thought to myself. Well, if King Rhysand trusts this one, then he must be special. Welcome to my home, Daniel. I humbly welcome you and your family," he says, holding out his hand for me to shake. I grab his hand, gripping it. The king then pulls me close, so that he may speak into my ear.

"Is it true? Do you wish to bring down Gustaf Gustafsson?" he wonders, and I can hear his subtle excited tone.

"Yes," I answer. King Lukas releases my hand and then backs away, smiling brightly.