A COLD WINTER NIGHT

Chapter 31 - That Deeply Broken Thing

Jakob's POV

One would think that knowing that your life may meet its' end soon, I'd be cowering in fear, huddled up in a dark corner, but I am not. I am done cowering in fear. I've done that all my young life, and I am done. I am beyond done. And now? Now I am finally ready to fight because unlike before, I now have something to fight for. I have someone to fight for. I have my wife. My Clara. My soulmate.

I lay a long kiss on top of her head and then lean down next to where I can speak softly into her ear.

"Let us go upstairs where we can be alone," I tell her. If I am to die, then my last wish will be that I spend every waking second with the love of my life. My sweet, precious wife. Clara pulls away to look up at me, nodding her head.

"Okay," her crying squeaky voice speaks. "But do you think I can get something to eat before we do? I'm really hungry," she states, and for some reason, I chuckle after hearing her speak something so normal. Normal. Nothing about any of this is normal but feeding my always hungry wife, that's normal. That's our normal. That's how I remember her. How I remember us.

"Yeah. Of course, sweetheart," I say. I take her hand, pulling her away, all while eyeing my father's following eyes. I lead Clara into the kitchen and pull out a stool for her to take a seat at the bar. She goes to step up, but I stop her when I grab her hips. I lift her, turning her so that I may set her down on top of the table instead. Her bright eyes stare up at me while mine stare down and into hers. I stand between her divided legs, allowing my hands to slide up from her hips, then beneath her shirt. While I caress the soft skin of her back, she holds my upper arms, gripping them.

"What would my wife enjoy eating?" I ask her.

"Anything," she replies. I bring one of my hands out from under her shirt and press it against her cheek, rubbing little circles along her skin with my thumb.

"All this time in hiding myself from you, I missed out on feeding you my famous Swedish cooking," I tell her.

"You? Cooking? What! That's it. I'm divorcing you for holding out on me," she jokes, causing us both to lightly chuckle.

"I held out on you with so many things but no more. It's time for you to know me. All of me," I tell her.

"I would love to know you, Jakob. I want to know all about you," she says. "It's weird but cool because it's like I'm married to a whole new person," she states. "I'm not going to lie. It's kind of exciting. That's weird to say, right?" she questions.

"Not to me," I say. "I'm still me. I'm still the same man from before, just... with a different past," I tell her.

"I know," she responds. "But no matter how many identities you take, I know that you'll always be my kind, gentle husband. I will always love you, Jakob. Including whatever skeletons, you've got hiding in that dark closet of yours. Just so you know though, you're going to have to do a lot more than hiding who you really are from me, to scare me away," she tells me.

"Anyone else and I would have sent them running for the hills but not you. You really are my soulmate, aren't you?" I question.

"Forever and always, baby," she replies, smiling big. I trace her lips with my thumb before gripping her chin to pull her in for a kiss. The moment our lips meet, it is as if the world stops, and it is only just the two of us that exist in it. She is my world. She is my life and without her, my world feels as though it ceases to exist. Without her... the world doesn't exist. I don't exist. I don't belong. Not without her.

I kiss her, allowing my lips to linger on hers for a moment longer before I suck on her bottom lip, scraping it gently with my teeth when I pull away. Our half-lidded eyes meet, just as our heavy breathing blows against our moist lips.