The Night Before

Chapter 41.

"Welcome home Anita." I smiled, carrying her into the small apartment. She was napping, bundled in a blanket. "Lets get you into your new crib."

I set my things down on the sofa and walked into the small bedroom, past my bed, to where the pink crib was set up. She opened her eyes and gave small grunts.

"Shhh baby. Go back to sleep okay?"

She pouted and soon began to cry. I unwrapped her and kissed her cheek, cradling her against my chest.

"No baby. Shhh. What's wrong??"

She cried and cried, nibbling on her bottom lip. I sighed and unbuttoned the front of my dress.

I was going to have to get used to this. To motherhood. No more single life and sleeping in. No more going to clubs and spending my nights performing. I looked at my dusty guitar case and looked back at Anita. She looked up at me and gave a small smile. Her adorable face was enough to make me realize that....All those things didn't matter anymore. She was my life now. She needs me to take care of her. It won't be easy, but I sure as hell will try.

..

The first few months of raising a new born were probably the most hectic, tiring, and stressful moments of my life. It made my whole situation with Paul and Richard sound like a piece of cake. It was no wonder who the real father was. Did he even know? Did he let Richard take the blame? Or would they all be as surprised as I was? I had bigger things going on in my life to be worked up over the drama. A lot of unanswered questions, but nothing I couldn't deal with at the moment. The reason for me going away was to get out of their lives. I had no reason to go back and stir up things again.

By the time July came around, I needed help with Anita and paying bills. This is where Emily came in. It was no shock to me when she called at the beginning of the month, saying Marcus left her for another girl. Leaving her homeless. Instead of telling her 'I told you so' I used this to my advantage to let her be my roomate and help with Anita. It was about time the two met anyways. I managed to get a job at a restuarant nearby as a waitress while Em took care of her niece.

..

August 11, 1967

I arrived home late that Friday night. Martha as usual running over to greet me. Emily sitting at the table with Anita in her lap. I tiredly tossed my purse on the sofa and joined them.

"Mommy's home! Yay!" Emily giggled, bouncing Anita on her knee. I smiled and grabbed her into my arms.

"How was she today?"

"Fussy as usual. Hungry mostly. She napped, pooped, ate. Ever since then, she's been up."

"Thank you Em. I don't think I tell you enough how much of a help you've been around here."

"Well, if it wasn't for you, I would probably be off working at a strip club or sucking a guys cock for fuckin money."

"Emily!" I laughed, Covering Anita's ears. She just smiled and grabbed her stuffed animal, chewing on it.

"Oh sorry. Look I'm a bit tired. I think I'm going to take a shower and get some sleep. Food is in the oven." Em stood up and yawned.

I nodded and kissed Anita's cheek. "Alright. Oh um, hold on a second. Even though I was against it...here."

She watched as I handed her the bag from the record shop down the street. She looked inside and smiled. "Thank you! Let's hear it now yeah?"

I groaned. "Now Em? Can't you listen to it while I'm gone or something??"

"Nope. Now." She giggled, running over to the record player and putting it on. I sighed and looked at Anita as Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band began fill the room.

...

The smell of cannibas woke me up at two in the morning. Anita sound asleep. Martha gone from my bed. I sat up and got out of bed, making my way to the living room where the dim light from a candle lit the room. The smell growing stronger and stronger. I saw Emily sitting on the floor, petting Martha and reading. I sat beside her. She didn't move.

"Alice was a lucky girl huh?" She smiled. I looked at her.

"Alice?"

She held up the book to me as I read the title. Alice in Wonderland.

"I just wish I was having adventures. If I was still with Marcus..."

"Emily, Marcus used you. He's a liar and a cheating bastard."

"So was Paul. And you fell in love with him. He doesn't even know about Anita does he?"

"No. But that's how it should be. I just can't help wondering...why they both did this to me. Richard....I loved him too. They both broke my heart."

"No. Richard broke yours. You broke Paul's."

I just looked at her and shook my head. "I can't just move into his life again and excpect a fairy tale ending. This is real life Emily. Things aren't fair. It's a struggle. Love isn't something I need to be worrying about right now. I have a little girl to take care of."

She nodded and handed me the joint she had in her hands. I laughed and shook my head, taking it. "Christ." I took a long drag, holding it in for a few seconds before blowing the thick smoke into the air. "It's been awhile."

"Good isn't it?"

I giggled and nudged her. "Shut up. It's late though. Get some rest yeah? I have the day off. Maybe we can do something together."

She smiled. "I'd love that. Just...Sadie?"

"Yeah?"

"I did something bad."

I looked at her and raised my eyebrows. "W...what did you do?"

She bit her lip and looked away so she wouldn't see my reaction.

"I called Paul."

...........