Codependent

Chapter 16

After another hour of calming down and silly jokes, I snapped out of it. I got up from the floor and looked at a confused Loki

"Listen I-" I started to say.

"You don't have to explain yourself," Loki stated. I sat down across him on the edge of the bed not sure what I was supposed to do. I sighed and held my head in my hand processing everything that happened today.

'He saw me weak'

'Why did he help me?'

'Because he needed to stop you from killing someone'

'Right'

I sighed and felt so embarrassed about the way I acted. Loki stood up from the floor and looked at me, I looked back up at him and I sensed his sadness for some reason.

"I helped you because you were the only one who was nice to me, and I couldn't figure out why, and then I got to know you better, and you are still impossible to understand. So I don't help you because I have to, but because I want to," He said carefully. I smiled at him because I understood how hard that was for him to say out loud.

"So are you saying... I am the best friend you ever had?" I said daringly. He looked up again and smiled. "Don't give yourself too much recognition," He said sarcastically with a grin.

"That comes from the man who put himself over Jesus," I said chuckling. He also laughed and looked at me."Did you just laugh?" I said.

"I swear I heard it!" I repeated. "You are not going to drop that soon," he sighed acting annoyed.

"Yeah but you secretly like it," I said sarcastically. He walked to the bathroom and handed me a cup of water, I took it and drank some thanking him. He sat next to me on the bed in silence but it wasn't awkward anymore.

I held the cup in my hands and sighed not sure if I should tell him this.

"What's wrong?" Loki asked noticing my doubt.

"It's just... I never had this," I stated uncertainly of what point I even wanted to make.

"Water?" he asked sarcastically and I rolled my eyes at him making him smile but he took a deeper breath.

"Friends?" He asked curiously and I chuckled awkwardly.

"Everything, the fact that people take care of me, give me food and... forgive me," I explained sadly. Loki kept looking at me understandingly, why was I opening up to him? 

"I never had someone calming me down when I was anxious, or making me food and make sure I eat every day, I never learnt the right way to show... emotions, and it's so confusing... and exhausting," I just kept talking.

"I get that more than you think," Loki said softly.

"I know, that's why I trust you more than anyone, you don't... ask further on the topic, you notice if I don't feel good, and it's so weird to notice that you know how to deal with... well me," I talked while I felt my eyes water up again.

"You should never have to apologise for just existing, and I get it that you don't fully trust me yet, but just know that you have a friend who you can bother in the middle of the night," He said grinning on the end of the line. I looked away from his face and was holding my laughter.

"I hate you," I said chuckling. "I hate you too," He said also chuckling.

"Ew this was too much drama for this day," I said still smiling.

"Really? it was kinda entertaining," He said sarcastically. "Nice to know that my drama is entertaining you," I said just as sarcastically.

"It is," He said even more sarcastically. I pushed him off the bed with my energy and he groaned and sat up again acting irritated, I just looked at him with a you-had-it-coming face.