A Cup of Tee' and a lil' dash of honey

#ScandalThursday

My heart hurts,  my stomach is in knots  and my tears are beginning to dry but yet the pain still lies.

Scandal has just went off about 10 minutes ago as I'm writing this and I'm emotionally overwhelmed. This particular episode was basically an ode to Mike Brown,  Trayon Martin,  Eric Garner etc.

It brung back to all those feelings if how people only see a color when they look at African Americans and we're punished for it everyday. The side eyes,  the clutching of purses when you walk by,  the following you receive if you walk in this wrong department store,  the fear that strikes in us all when you're only getting pulled for a traffic ticket but you know the wrong word   can cost you your life,  the worry you get that tumbles your stomach as your brother,  cousin, father walks out the house. We see and feel that oppression on us everyday and yet we're told to get over it and that racism still doesn't exist.

This episode included Olivia Pope (lead character) arriving to the scene of a crime where a black teenager was slang in the middle of the street placed there by a white police officer. She was brought there to work for the cops but after seeing the cops were hiding something, she switched up and quick.  The thing that has me so wired and pained to write this is the officer's confession monologue.

In summary,  yes the guy murdered was innocent and the officer wrongfully killed him because and I quote "He didn't have any respect." He said " you people need to teach your kids." And inside My Bill heart was beating fast and the tears started because I know people really feel this way towards African Americans that their above us and deserve to be treated like so.

He said" you people were brought here to help us and you only make life harder"  and I started screaming at the TV because I carry that weight everyday, every second of my life of being a descent of the struggle and hell my ancestors went through. The weight of the feeling like I have to change my culture and way of life so I can be more acceptable and civilized. No F*ck that!

He said " you teach your kids to fear the people who are supposed to protect them" and I stated simply because you kill them and parents have to ready their kids for the war they fight every day when they walk out the door. The way I have to take into account when buying presents for my nephew because I was told by my sister to make sure I didn't buy my seven year old nephew any fake weapon toys because if Tamar Rice is any indication,  a toy gun gets little black boys murdered so we defend against that.

The obvious fear we live in is real and yet they laugh at it. Tell us we have one of us as president, be happy and glad. That times are better so we should stop fighting for our sons lives when they're murdered.

In so many ways, life for us is made out to be a walk of shame that as we go we should hold our heads down and keep quit but that's not who we are. 

We are pride and strength, we have a fight even when everyone tries to take it from us.

It's just sickens that as a race in 2015 , We still HAVE to fight,  it isn't an option. It's for survival.

Even if you don't like Scandal I suggest you guys watch this past episode because it digs into this subject so much more than any news outlet has ever. Hulu has free trials,  if you sign up. You can watch the most recent episode. I recommend you do.

P.S. y'all probably gone be getting some more of these all week cause spring break is next week and I have free time.  And sorry for my emotional ass right now.  Y'all know I get in my feelings over things.

I have some more topics too address too.  Like Tyga/Kylie Jenner,  Chris Brown,  Kanye West, Empire and the morals we don't teach our girls anymore. So they're definitely coming.