Will I be ever Loved?(Completed)

Chapter 4

When am entered into the mansion like an house. I just hurriedly walked to my room.

When I closed my door, I just heaved an big sigh.

Then I changed into some normal clothes. Then I sat in my bed.

I don't know why but my face is adorned with an big smile. I took the jacket which he gave to me. I just hanged it in my anker.

I got my first friend. Sure I might had some friends in my old school. But no one will involve me in anything. Am just an helper kind of persons to them. That's why I changed here. I don't want to be used one.

The only love which I got is from my mom is gone. I loved her soo much.

But right now am smiling after more than a year. Its an true smile.

'How will you able to smile Iniya, you are the reason for your mom' s death.'my mind asked.

' Even for your dad death 'again it said.

' You are going to make everyone to suffer. 'again

' You are one bad omen '

' Don't have friendship with Vihaan. Atleast leave him. ' that's it. I don't want anything happen to him.

I couldn't control myself. My hands, legs started to tremble on its own.

I even tried to count the numbers, tried to took many deep breaths because I couldnt able to take a breaths.

I stood up from my bed and gone towards the window pane with my trembling state. And started to take vigorous breaths, But nothing is working.

I just seen around, will anything makes to work. Nothing nothu....

My mind stopped thinking. As I seen Vihaan jacket. I immediately gone and took it. I just sat down on the bed with clutching it tightly. Surprisingly it works. It works.

My attacks were started to down. I can able to breath. Afternoon attack were simple one. This is why I don't want to think about my mom.

I lied down on the bed and started to cry.

Why am having an fucked up life.

Why can't I be loved by anyone.

Why I don't have anyone, when am having the panic attacks. This fear this attacks.

I don't want to live this life.

But mom gave up her life just to make me to live. I don't want that to be wasted.

I didn't called my maid to get my food. As I don't want to have the food. If I go down, my dad will won't have the food after seeing me. If any situation happens like that, abhinav and suresh will mock me why am eating more, when am already couldn't able to control my size. As am so big.

Everyday their mocking will be there. But I didn't take any of those to my mind. Because already have enough on my plate. So yeah I don't want to think much.

I just clutched Vihaan jacket even more tightly and slept with an tear striken face. With only one thought in my mind. Will I be Ever Loved.

Will the friendship between Vihaan and me will be stable for long or not. I don't have any answers to it. But its okay.

A girl like me, an ugly, fatty, bad omen is not meant to be loved.

Am just meant to be cursed.