I've Changed

57. It's true

TW: SELF HARM/SUICIDE, RAPE

(WARNING TO ALL READERS THAT THERE IS MATURE CONTENT AHEAD!! CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK!!)

Jae's pov

"What?" As she tries to console me, I look blankly at her with a sad smile on her face."W-Why do you have to go?"

"Not yet," Ellie smiles sheepishly as the door swings open and all of our friends enter the room. Ellie kisses my forehead one last time before being yanked away by Sofie and Malcom, who hurry to hug Ellie gently.

"We came as soon as we could," Malcom says, rubbing Ellie's shoulder as I straighten up and back away to make space. Ellie is hiding behind her covers, looking around the room in a panic before taking a deep breath and putting on a brave face.

"I'm sorry," Sofie cries as she gently pulls Ellie into an embrace, which Ellie accepts without hesitation, but I sense some hesitation and concern. "I had no idea-"

"No one did," Ellie interjects, prompting Sofie to keep her mouth shut, speechless, as she waits for Ellie to calm down. "I'm sorry for not telling all of you guys that I'm just..."

"You're not alone, Ellie," Alex says as she approaches her slowly and embraces her on the side. Ellie is crying and looking around her bed, trying to cover her tears. When I'm still stunned and sad from Ellie's words, I take a step back and stare at the floor.

Ellie says, "Thank you," and the room is silent as we accept each other's presence. I feel Theo wrap his arms around my body and sob out loud into my shoulder, drawing everyone's attention to me and him. I roll my eyes and pat Theo on the back as he wails even louder by my side, eliciting a few laughs in the room.

"I cried the whole night, Eeyore," Theo says, pulling back and making a hollow vacuum-like sound through his nose. I scrunch up my face, as do Malcom and Sofie, who hurls the tissue box at Theo's face from the corner.

"I didn't mean to make you sad, Theo," Ellie sighs, motioning for Theo to approach her. She smiles as she watches Theo drag his feet across the room, his shoulders sagging forward as he sobs, before plopping down next to Ellie's bed. "I'm sorry," Ellie says as she embraces Theo, who Malcom holds back a little because he's used to the warm bear hugs.

"You're forgiven, Eeyore," Theo says, leaning back and wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, prompting Sofie to toss the hand sanitizer from the side of the bed.

"Hey, are you all right?" As the girls, Malcom, and Theo converse with Ellie and begin to catch up, Eric asks, stepping next to me. Ellie hides her discomfort and apprehension, but she gradually eases into their conversation by quietly listening to them. "Jae"

"Yeah," I nod, my eyes fixed on Ellie, as my heart breaks watching her put on a fake smile for her friends while I know she's hurting on the inside. I'm more determined than ever to support her and be there for her if she allows it. I can't bear seeing her leave; I don't think I'll be able to bear the emptiness of her absence. There has never been someone who has made me feel this way. If I can't handle two weeks, a day, or even a second, I don't think I can handle...forever.

"Are you sure?" Eric raises an eyebrow and waves his hand in front of my face, causing me to blink my eyes. I take a step back from Ellie's figure before turning to face Eric, who has a concerned expression on his face as he looks at me. Until he draws me into a side hug, I smile sheepishly and shake my head in honesty. "Now that she's here, let's enjoy it," When we return our gaze to Ellie, Eric tries to sound positive, but I can hear his voice falter.

"I need to speak with Malcom, alone please," Ellie says, and the room falls quiet as we all exchange glances.

"You do?" Malcom makes a startled sound and rests his hand on his chest before focusing his gaze on me. I shrug, unsure what Ellie is trying to tell him. I lock eyes with Ellie, who gives me a desperate look that I understand fully. "I love you," I mouth, and she smiles before turning her gaze to Malcom, who is completely focused on her, while the rest of us hesitantly walk out to give them their room.