Chapter 42

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"Abi? Papasok na ako, ha?"






I heard Emeticia came inside my room, probably to make me eat. I don't want to eat, I don't want to get up and I don't want to see everyone near me, just for today.


I felt her sat near me. "You have to eat, kanina ka pa diyan. Hindi ka na nag-umagahan,"


"I'm not hungry," I told her and covered my whole body with a comforter.


I felt her lay down near me, hugging me while I was sobbing softly. My heavy chest was filled with sadness again, every time that this day comes, I was always reminded of deep sorrow, remembering how I lost my child.


"I know you're in pain," she whispered. "But I just want to let you know that, I'll always be here. Magpupunas ng luha mo, magpapakain sa'yo, patatawanin ka at aalagaan."


I cried harder, embracing Silas' supposed to be clothes that I bought. Emet hugged me tighter, crying with me, caressing my hair and whispering good things in life. How I got Aya, how she turned into a wonderful kid.


She kissed my temple. "Hindi mo lang ako kaibigan, pamilya rin."


She left after that, leaving the tray of food she made for me. Alam kong nandiyan lahat ng kaibigan ko sa baba, talagang ayaw ko lang magpapasok sa kwarto. 


I can barely stand up because my body feels so hefty. I walked straight to my cabinet, slowly took the album I made. Today is September 6, Silas Gideon's death anniversary. Pinagmasdan ko ang mga larawan ng check-ups ko sa kambal.


There is a picture of me with a small bump, this is my first and last check-up with him inside my womb. I cried and cried until I fell asleep on the floor. My eyes were really weary from all the tears.












"Abi,"


I was awoken by Duke's voice. Nasa bed na ako. Dahan-dahan akong bumangon, pinipilit ang sarili na imaging maayos sa harap nila. Hindi pa ako lumalabas ng kwarto mula kaninang umaga at magha-hapunan na, wall paring laman ang tyan ko. I just don't feel like eating.


"You have to eat," he softly told me.


Umiling naman ako, habang nakatulala sa bintana. "I'm not hungry,"


"Kaninang umaga ka pa walang kinakain," he responded.

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