Peter Parker Oneshots

Peter Got Shuri Pregnant?!

Word Counter: 595

Peter's class were on a field trip and currently eating dinner with the Avengers, when FRIDAY chimed in.

"Mr. Parker, a number under the contact -Babe 'Pink Heart' 'Kissing emoji'- is currently calling you. Would you like me to accept?"

Everybody fell silent and turned to Peter who was staring intensely at the ground. "Oh shit." He mumbled before looking up at the ceiling. "FRIDAY, please accept the call."

A chime come from the AI in response and a rustling sound could be heard before someone screamed, it coming from the speakers. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING PETER BENJAMIN PARKER!"

T'Challa eyed Peter suspiciously from the side at the voice of his sister, while Peter winced at the mention of his full name. He was gesturing wildly to Tony for help, who just shrugged from across the table, big smirk on his face, while sympathy was also slightly evident.
"HELLO? PETER I SWEAR TO LOKI YOU BETTER NOT BE ASKING TONY FOR HELP TO GET YOU OUT OF THIS RIGHT NOW!"

Clint snickered from the side at the irony, everyone else following suit except from T'Challa, who had his arms crossed unamused. Peter gestured to everyone to cut it out, by swiping a hand infront of his neck frantically. "Shuri I-"

"Nope."

"Shuri please just-"

"Nuh-uh"

"Meme queen?"

"Nope"

"Princess?"

"Don't use my title's name in vain."

Peter buried his head in his hands slumping onto the table before sitting up again.
"Honey?"

"Not good enough."

"Little Spoon?"

You could hear a hum before anyone else spoke, looking around the room, everyone was staring with hands over their mouths, but it didn't stop the occasional snort slipping through. T'Challa was staring, anger slightly seeping into his expression now. Shuri spoke up again.

"That's better, why'd you call me Shuri in the first place, not like anyone knows, and my brother is never knowing until we have something that can't split us up, like a kid. T'Challa would never murder the father of a newborn, you'd be a squashed spider and I can't love road-kill. Technically you would be Panther food. *Shuri let out a quick snort* That's kinda funny."

Peter slowly looked up at T'Challa, who had a murderous expression on his face.

"Babe I fucked up." Peter squeaked out while slowly standing up from the bench, and starting to back away.

"Oh I know, it's quite funny watching the security cameras. It seems you are about to get tackled. Challie, please keep my Big Spoon in one piece, unscratched."

Peter turned to the camera in the corner of the room and eyed it suspiciously, before giving a half-hearted wave, seemingly giving up on life, but he was slide tackled and rolling across the floor, him ending up pinned under T'Challa.

He let out a whimper "I knew I should've waited 7 months to change that damn contact." Peter's eyes widened dramatically before he scrambled out from the Panther's grip and ran behind Clint, who was now standing to get a better view of the action.

"Parker. Did you get my sister pregnant?" T'Challa's voice was low and intimidating as he approached the archer, more importantly the spider cowering behind.

Peter sprung up, pushing Clint forward in defense. "Meat shield." Peter squealed with the action, making Scott burst out laughing "Ha Bird-Brain, you're a human sacrifice." This cracked everyone up, and they all started laughing uncontrollably. Peter used this to his advantage and jumped up into the vents, never seen again...

Until the surprise wedding they had a week later, making everyone else think it was an under-cover mission....

But we don't talk about that...