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love. an intense feeling of deep affection.
you've never experienced love when you were younger. you felt like the word was absent your whole life. when the other kid's parents gave them love letters in their lunch that said many aspiring words and said, i love you, while they leave for school. you had to write notes for your mother every time you left so she wouldn't freak out, tucked your own parents to sleep and make your own lunch, which resulted in an apple and milk.
your parents weren't bad people in your eyes. even though they fucked up their whole life before having you and kept fucking up yours while you grew up, it made you grow a hatred for them.
they really tried their best, and you see that now.
you appreciated them, and you loved them for that. but it made you sick that they never took the responsibility of being a parent and made you grow up faster than you wanted to.
the first time someone told you that they loved you was chase.
and, yeah, maybe pietro and wanda would say it when you went out and bought them food, but the first time someone actually meant it in the way you wanted it to mean was chase.
and when he said it, you didn't even respond right away. you didn't even know how to feel. you were dizzy, almost sick-like. those three words ripped your heart out and repaired up at the same time. you at first you didn't want to believe him. but you said it back, and you actually meant it.
you thought it was perfect, you, and chase. living like it was paradise, parties, sex, the euphoria of a high every day when in reality, it was the opposite. your massive decrease in money, personal space, the toxicity of your relationship growing as the both of you kept using.
both of you would scream and push each other around every day, arguing and arguing over the stupidest things. chase being more manipulative as you kept seeing each other.
he was like a big baby, someone who would drag you down when you wanted to get better. you thought you were weak cause he told you that. you assumed that you had no one cause he told you that. you believed every stupid word that came out of his mouth, which resulted in you in this wasteland of life.
