I'm here

Fourteen

"No, please spare me" He pleaded

"Do it, il mio bambino." The man demanded (My child)

The boy was conflicted. He looked away from his father's stare and into the eyes of the man he once called 'Zio Stefano'. (uncle)

He didn't know what to do. He trusted Stefano but he also trusted his father. He began to raise his gun to the man he thought was his family.

He knew his father would never force him to kill someone who didn't deserve it. He didn't want to do it though. He knew this man. He saw this man as family once upon a time.

The boy at the small age of nine knew how to hold and operate a gun correctly, all thanks to the two men in the room.

He closed his eyes.

Tears falling from his eyes and trailing down his cheeks, as he whimpered at the act he was about to carry out.

His first kill.

"Eyes open" His father advised

He shook his head in fear. He didn't want to look into his zio Stefano's eyes when he took his life.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't watch the life drain out of him.

"EYES OPEN IL MIO BAMBINO" his father shouted

The boy opened his eyes wide in fear and pulled the trigger. All at once, he dropped the gun in horror at the action which could not be undone.

"You had to do it, I'm proud of-" His zio Stefano rushed out before the bullet hit him point blank in between his eyes, leaving his lifeless body to grow still.

At once, Luca woke up gasping for air. He held onto his chest in panic as he couldn't get the air to fill his lungs.

A nightmare.

He couldn't breathe. He had broken out into a sweat during the night. He needed to calm down. His Zio Stefano was dead. He'd killed him a very long time ago.

His first kill. The only one which had stuck with him throughout the years.

He was a traitor. He'd betrayed the familia and had to be dealt with. It was a kill which was needed.

His father wanted him to do it, to show that no one is to be trusted.

Even family.

Finally getting his breathing under control he got out of bed.

He stumbled throughout his penthouse apartment on shaky legs to his kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey from his cabinet and drank straight from the bottle.

The liquid burned his throat as he gulped it down without hesitation.

Eventually releasing the bottle from his lips he saw he had downed half of the bottle.

He needed it.

It was the only thing which made it easier to sleep.

Well, alcohol, along with drugs and her.

The night he had met her he had the best sleep at his mother's house.

Then the nightmares started again.

The nightmares were reoccurring throughout his life, but they got worse after he slept well once.

He chose to ignore them, barely sleeping. Pulling all nighters. Going to his nightclub to distract himself from sleep. Anything.

He couldn't rely on her to be his safe haven.

That was too risky. She'd leave.

Everyone leaves.

And that would break him.

He mindlessly began to wonder around his apartment staring out of the floor to ceiling windows, which overlooked London and watched the bright city, quiet for once.

It was a rare sight.

But it was 5AM after all.

Either people were waking back home from a night out or they were getting ready to go to work.

It had been a month since he had seen Kiana at his mum's house.

He wanted to ask Antonio how she was doing.

He couldn't.

He shouldn't.

Not only would his mother would ask even more questions about his 'relationship' with Kiana, it would make him more inclined to want to see her again.

Luca pushed the thought of seeing her again out of his head.

He needed to stay away.

For the benefit of both of them. He needed to get the secret intelligence service off his back. He'd been laying low for the past month.

Fuck it he thought. As his finger hovered over Antonio's contact name in his phone he thought against it.

Doubting himself. He couldn't be irrational. He couldn't fuck up. He couldn't get her involved. She couldn't be involved with him or his life.

Angry at life and himself he called Lily and Jessica. They were his frequent fuck buddies. He usually had them over separately but tonight he needed them both.

Anyone to get his mind off of Kiana.

All of twenty minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Looking through the peephole to be precautious he saw it was Lily and Jessica. He quickly opened the door and let the girls in.

Without even uttering a word he grabbed Lily and pulled her to his chest, he began to remove her coat and all her clothes. She went to kiss him but he pushed her head down and made her get on her knees before him and assist Jessica. Jessica took no time in pulling down Luca's boxers and pulling out his member. He was already hard. They began to share the task of sucking Luca off as he held onto the counter top for balance.

He was already bored of them. They just weren't her. He couldn't get her out of his head.

"Stop, please just stop. Grab your clothes and leave please" Luca sighed.

The two girls looked at the man in front of them shocked and confused. He'd never done this before. They gathered their clothes and began to exit his apartment in silence.

Luca pulled up his boxers and grabbed the bottle of alcohol and walked back to his room.

Looks like it was just him and the bottle tonight.