Lost On You : Marthe Woertman LGBTQ+ Fanfic

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Maxine.

I lay, staring up at the ceiling. Marth's back faces me, and I know she's awake because she's been crying all night, and rightfully so. She didn't yell at me, scream at me, call me names. I remember she helped me undress for bed, holding back her tears before climbing in with me, but she didn't hold me.

Marth has been in the same position all night long, crying. I'm awake before my alarm, so I get up, turning it off before it can go off, and I head out of the room for some water because I am as hungover as they come.

Marth came out of the room, looked at me, and then returned to the room, closing the door and locking it. I sighed because I've earned this.

I cheated on her.

I did the one thing I left her for in November.

The ride to school was unbearable, for we didn't say anything to each other. Marth is eerily quiet, pulling into the parking lot before we got out. She didn't take my hand as we walked, and all eyes are on us, making this painful.

"Hey, guys," Louis said as Marth and I greeted him, but he quickly noticed the tension between us.

I ordered for us, my voice horse and raspy.

"Marth," I tried. She looked up from her phone, and the dark in her eyes is too much to take.

"I'm sorry," I push through. Marth scoffs, looking back down.

"I'm sorry, she says," Marth mocks me as she laughs. A group of girls stand in line, and Marth darts her eyes up, shamelessly staring. I sighed, looking away, letting her do as she pleases.

"Hi, Marth," one of the girls turn around, waving at my girlfriend.

"Hey," Marth's voice is smooth and charming. I know that voice.

"Leaving me would be less painful than this," I said, getting up from the table. Marth grips my arms, stopping me.

"Did it feel good getting back at me?" Marth asked, dragging me outside to a secluded area.

"Does it feel good knowing we're even?" Marth snaps.

"What?" I asked as she backs me into a wall.

"I know you fucking heard me," Marth snaps with tears threatening to spill over.

"N-no," I said, looking down.

"Then why'd you do it, Maxine," I hate it when she says my full name.

"I don't know, Marth. I could ask you the same thing," I said. I can ask her which is a scary thing.

"You were so fucking adamant about fucking me until the sun comes up, but then I rejected you because you're upset about something. Instead of talking to me, you left, and I didn't want my mind to go there, but it did, and I couldn't fucking sleep. I wanted to drink until I dropped because I worried about you, Maxine," I looked down, hating that my abrupt desire to escape tempted her to drink ungodly amounts of alcohol.

I know she has a problem, and running off the way I did definitely isn't helpful.

"You were gone for so long, and I was hoping that maybe I didn't fucking ruin you," Marth seethes, letting her tears fall.

"You didn't ruin me," I said. Does Marth think she's that poisonous?

"Yes, I did! I ruined you a long time ago, dammit. Now you're off solving your problems the way I do mine," she spits at me.

"You want me to leave you?" Marth asked, and I shake my head.

"You left me, though," she should leave me. I put her through hell when I broke up with her, and I deserve the same treatment.