nhl one-shots | multi

the end | a. matthews

Sitting in traffic was the perfect place for y/n's guilt and doubt to appear- stopped at the red light and having nothing to do but wait and be alone with her thoughts. There was the idea that she was overreacting and maybe Auston just needed some space, but she thought she deserved to know where they stood at the very least. If he was going through something and didn't feel comfortable telling her, she wasn't going to push it- but she couldn't wait around for months on end just for him to tell her that their whole relationship was a mistake.

As she at his apartment complex, Y/N parked next to his car in the parking garage and took a few minutes to collect herself. She needed to have a plan- she couldn't go in there without some idea of what she wanted to say. That would only end in a messy fight or her letting him get away with his shitty excuses all over again like she had been for the last few weeks.

Bundling up her coat, Y/N climbed out of the car and made her way towards the elevator- the beep behind her signalling that she had indeed locked the vehicle and set the alarm. The woman was left to stare at her reflection in the mirrored walls of the elevator as she headed up to his floor, she had sent Auston a text not long ago saying that they needed to talk- he had seen it, but had yet to reply. Only making Y/N's fears grow.

Taking a deep breath and walking towards his door, Y/N didn't even get the chance to knock before the entrance was swinging open. Auston stood there looking pale and almost fearful of her presence. Maybe something really was going on with him. "Hey...' his American accent rang through softly- their voices were monotone as they exchanged short greetings, the man moving past the door so that his girlfriend could enter.

The atmosphere of his bachelor pad was cold and brisk- a stark contrast to the fireplace that was running. It seemed almost lifeless, like the walls were a cage and Auston was a prisoner in his own home. The once lively feeling that Y/N used to get upon entering his home was replaced by a wave of anxiety and grief- like she was already mourning the downfall of her ending relationship.

Auston stood in front of the girl, watching as she didn't make any motions to remove her coat or take off her boots- They seemed like strangers as they stood apart form one another. There was no warm kiss against his lips as a greeting, there was no hug pressing him into her chest. There was nothing.

"Whats going on?" Y/N suddenly spoke up. She couldn't take the silence and the distance growing between the two of them. It was unbearable and she couldn't keep going on like this.

There wasn't a single brush of surprise against Auston's face. He knew that this was coming sooner or later- and while he would have preferred later, it was time to face the music. "I don't know what you're-" he was cut off by a nasty glare and harsh voice of the woman in front of him.

"Don't you dare give me that bullshit Auston. You haven't called or talked to me in weeks... You're pulling away- I had to find out from the maple leafs instagram that you weren't even in the country!" She threw her hands up in the air frustratedly, she couldn't help but raise her voice- getting increasingly frustrated with every single second she spent in his apartment.

Auston sighed and rubbed at his face, walking over to the couch and sitting down. Breathing into his hands as he leaned against his knees- he wasn't sure what to say. "I don't think I can do this anymore..." he gulped- there was a shakiness in his voice, his throat straining as he had to basically force himself to spit the words out.

Y/N's shoulders slumped and she frowned. "That's your decision... But I need answers- We were so good... We were almost perfect...' she walked over and sat down next to him, reaching out to place his hand against her shoulder. Suddenly Auston shot up from the couch- causing the girl to gasp. He stalked around the room, beginning to pace. "Exactly! We were perfect! Nothing is supposed to ever come that easy!" He exclaimed.

The man's tone was filled with something Y/N never thought she would see from Auston- fear, panic, heartache. Every single emotion that came along with a breaking heart. "Being with you is too easy! Ive never been happier and that scares the shit out of me Y/N!" He stressed. The woman knew that before her, Auston had never done anything serious- and while he blamed it on simply not having the desire for a long term relationship, she had narrowed it down to inexperience. He didn't know who to do relationships- he knew sex and that he was good at it. In his mind, that was all he was worth.

Y/N's expression softened immediately and she looked up at him- reaching out and taking his hand. She just wanted him to feel her. To know that she wasn't about to give up on him. "Auston... thats a good thing!" She tried to reassure him, but he was having none of it- even as she took her coat off and tried to show him that she wanted to stay, he was too wound up.

"No its not- because eventually, I'm going to fuck up and hurt you... I'm going to ruin all of this and I can't let myself do that... I can't be the reason that you're broken." He had tears In his eyes and Y/N saw that he really was beating himself up over the fact that he had fallen in love. Auston thought that by pulling away, she would get fed up with him and leave on her own accord- but she was in this for the long haul. He couldn't get rid of her that easy.

Y/N nodded softly. She stood up and grabbed her coat, her face was filled with a sudden sadness, gravities pulling at her lips as she frowned and a furrow taking residence in her brows. "Okay... Just say it... One word and I'm gone." She spoke solemnly, eyes trailing against his figure, By now Auston had rounded the corner and walked closer to her, his hand reaching out slightly.

Wrapping his arms around her- he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, hands intertwining with hers as if he was getting ready to say goodbye. Tears began to form in Y/N's eyes and she was terrified that this was going to be the end of things. Pressing his lips to her forehead firmly- Auston choked, shaking his head and smushing his forehead against her own. "I... I-I can't..." he bit his lip.

The girl looked up at him and tried to keep herself. "You Can do it... It's okay." She tried to smile through the pain and make things easy on him- but suddenly Auston shook his head firmly. "No. I can't- I won't..." he was making progress, standing up for himself and his relationship.

Tilting her head up and cupping her cheeks, Auston looked at her deeply. "I won't lose you... You're going to have to really bare with me- because I'm terrified, and I have no fucking idea what I'm doing... But I'm not losing you." He wrapped his arms around her and leaned down- capturing her lips with his own, their salty tears mixing together.

Pulling away, Y/N smiled softly, she hugged him tightly. "I'm not going anywhere Aus... I love you." She promised him- Austin smiled into her hair and pressed her flush against him. "I love you.... And it's gonna kill me."